Opinions please ...

Thanks WR. She is indeed sensitive to these comments, probably because they''ve always been made, ever since she was little. Anyone with any sense knows that you don''t belittle a child, or give them something to worry about deliberately, and even more so a teenager who has enough to contend with as it is. We constantly reassure her that she is perfect, her feet are gorgeous, she doesn''t have a lazy eye etc., but these comments are implanted in her mind and she''s upset by them.

We had a little chat earlier, as mum is meant to be visiting at the weekend, and she said she might confront her about it because she''s fed up of her making her feel paranoid. We told her she should, face to face, if she wants to, even if it angers her mum and makes her shout. We said we would be right on hand to collect her immediately if she wanted us to.

My eldest had his stigmatism fixed when he was very young, but he still had poor vision, so wore glasses from the age of 18 months. Bless him it was a constant battle at primary school because of them, and he was teased and bullied. I always thought he looked rather cute in his glasses, and always assured him they enhanced his face and complimented him. But, every day nearly he would come home in tears because other kids had picked on him about his glasses and I felt powerless sometimes. Of course we all know kids can be cruel, it''s part of growing up and learning the old ''sticks and stones''. But, when an adult is picking on a child that''s completely different and we just want her to stop.

You are dealing with the situation very well. Her mum is her mum and SD will always love her, so just keep reassuring her after every contact.

Hi MissTish

You know that you are both doing all you can to support her. Its so hard because her mum is ill and she knows that but at the same time no doubt she is finding it hard to excuse the fact that her own mum wants to be cruel to her.

All you can do is what you do now, support her, love her and re assure her that she is perfect the way she is.

Big hug
Em xxx

Thank you Emma. Like you, we have been through the mill for many years, and its so hard to see a child you love so very much being hurt by someone whose love for them should be unconditional. We had another chat just before she went to bed, and she''s decided she wants to write a letter to her mum, telling her how she makes her feel. We think that''s a brilliant idea. She knows it won''t change mums behaviour but she said she thinks it will make her feel better. She also announced that she wants to have a meeting with the schools Pastoral Manager to ask if she can set up a support group at school, with regular meetings, for children affected by parental addiction. Amazing! She is a very inspiring young lady, and if she can turn negativity into something positive then that will go a long way to helping her overcome the issues she has.

She is absolutely stunning, in every way

I think your love for your SD really shines through and you are an inspiration too.

xx