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  • Longview
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30 Mar 12 #320856 by Longview
Topic started by Longview
I have recently been told by my ex (with no prior discussion) that our agreement (which was reached between ourselves without solicitors being involved) over contact with my son was going to be reduced. The current routine of nights that I have him has been in place for two years and is something to which he and I both look forward to. I see him on average for about 3 nights a week for over night stays. Can my ex just reduce our time together on a whim like this after all this time? The only reason given was that she wanted to spend more time with him.

  • happyagain
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30 Mar 12 #320909 by happyagain
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She can reduce your time, but equally you can refuse. As you don''t have a contact order you can both pretty much do as you like- she can stop all contact and you could keep him with you full time. Unfortunately though, as the nrp, your position is a lot weaker as you have just found out. Don''t accept this, write to her to explain that her wanting more time is not a valid reason. The only valid argument is if it is in the best interests of your son, and this does not seem to be the case. You''ll get lots of support on here but you''ll need to stand up to this straight away before the reduced contact becomes the status quo.

  • Joe2020
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30 Mar 12 #320911 by Joe2020
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She can do what she wants.You don''t have a legal contact order.

She can stop contact full time and theres nothing you can do but to take it to court.

If she can''t be reasonable and stick to your current agreement then you may need to take it to court.If you can prove that you have had him 3 nights per week over two years then that would be a huge help. .

You need to discuss your agreement with her and make her see you want to spend time with your son also.
Even us fathers want to see their children.

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30 Mar 12 #320912 by Joe2020

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30 Mar 12 #320944 by dermot49
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i would move quicly as stated before the reduced level becomes the norm. get to a families need fathers meeting for advice.

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30 Mar 12 #320947 by Emma8485
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A very firm but nice letter to her stating the arrangement has been in place a number of years, your child is settled and comfortable and it is in his best interests that the current situation continues.

Should she not agree to that then rerettably you will need to make an application to court to regulate the situation and ensure that no one can simply move the goal posts.

:)

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30 Mar 12 #320949 by Joe2020
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If she refuses an overnight then on your next overnight keep your son for two nights running.She''ll get the picture.

You won''t be breaking any law.
The downside is after you return him she may not give you access for a week,two,etc,or stop it altogether meaning you need to go to court.

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