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  • Emma8485
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30 Mar 12 #320953 by Emma8485
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As a cautionary note the other downside could potentially be an ex parte application by Mum to have the child returned to her which would then escalate the situation - or she could stop all contact which would mean a total absence from a child that you see currently for half the week for an untold amount of time whilst it goes to court. Caution really is the best thing.

If its the first time she has mentioned this then perhaps when you state your position she will change her mind. If not then absolutely you should take legal action, but keeping him on nights when you wouldnt normally in my view wont help because it could be seen as doing it to wind your ex up and everything you do should be in your childs interests

Just my views ...

  • MissTish1
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30 Mar 12 #320957 by MissTish1
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I agree with Emma. You really need to tread carefully and deal with this properly otherwise you run the risk of her stopping all contact and not seeing your child until the matter has been resolved in Court, which could take weeks. Its very tempting to be cavalier about it and just keep the child to prove a point, but that will only backfire and create an acrimonious situation.

As it stands at the moment, you have pretty much a shared care arrangement. That''s the ''status quo'', and undoubtedly the best situation for your child, as its his right (not yours or mums) to have substantial, regular contact with both of you. mediation might be a good way forward.

  • Longview
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04 Apr 12 #321621 by Longview
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Thanks for the advice. This is a delicate situation that I can''t afford to inflame, however, I also can''t afford to wait for this to go on without doing something about it. There has been no change of mind or movement on the issue so I have drafted a letter stating my position - basically that if this cannot be resolved ASAP via talking/mediation then I will have to make an application to the courts. Anyone with any experience in a similar situation with thoughts on the likely outcome? The routine that we had in place was not ideal but it was workable and offered stability for my son in its regularity.

  • Joe2020
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04 Apr 12 #321635 by Joe2020
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Has she actually started cutting down on access or is she just threatening to?

Also what does she want to cut your time down to?

If it goes to court you need to be able to prove you have your son 3 nights per week.Theres no guarantee they will give you 3 nights especially at the first hearing.

If she has a reasonable side you need to try and work it out with her.If she refuses to discuss it then arrange an appointment with a mediator who will contact her.

You need to try mediation before you think about court.

  • Bobbinalong
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04 Apr 12 #321683 by Bobbinalong
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yes, as jo says you will need to have been to mediation fist.
I think that courts are going to make this the norm to take some load of them, sometimes things can be resolved by that route.
What does she say when you are told, ''I want to see more of our son'' you '' at the detrement of me seeing him less''?
Either way it is the right of your son to spent time with each of you in a fair and workeable manner, not her wanting to see him more, doesnt mean anything.

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