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Child Contact.....Being Controlled and Restricted.

  • Mollysda
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01 Apr 12 #321082 by Mollysda
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I have a Court Order whereby my 5 year old daughter should have a contact weekend with me every other weekend.
But this is no longer happening due to the Mothers deliberate actions along with the collaboration of her solicitor.
CAFCASS are involved. At the CAFCASS hearing in January 2012 the judge said that the Court Order still stood, but yet it continues to be broken.There was a C79 Enforcement hearing in Feb 2012 which they did not turn up for.
My daughter has become virtually brainwashed, programmed and is now completely under her mothers spell.
I have seen my daughter twice since September 2011.
Everything is so calculated that I cannot get a look in.
Am being offered 1 hours contact in a park every other weekend, with my daughters mother in attendance.
Surely this cannot be right. They have refused to use a contact centre for months.Have another CAFCASS hearing in May. Reckon they will mess me around until then because they know they can get away with it.
This is all about control and is most destructive.
My daughter and I should not be supervised by her Mother.I have never done anything wrong either, despite the mothers best efforts to stitch me up, by sending the police around twice and having me sign an Undertaking which has since expired.
Am I right to turn down contact on the grounds of control, interference etc and their refusal to comply with the Court Order.
They will not comply, but I believe that it is also very damaging for my daughter her to have her Mum present.
Christmas contact in Ireland did not happen and neither will Easter.
I know that I am being squeezed out and am worn out from it all.
My daughters best interests are not being respected either.

What do I do? Any advice welcome.

Thanks.....Mollysda.
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  • MissTish1
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01 Apr 12 #321083 by MissTish1
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Goodness, this is awful, and I really feel for you. Does your contact order state that its staying contact every other weekend? Whether it does or not, it is still being breached, seriously so. I''m very glad that you have applied to Enforce it, and can''t see any reason why she would get away with it.

However, in the meantime I would recommend that you accept, under duress, the offer of the hour of contact. No, its far from ideal, and your acceptance should be done formally by letter to her solicitor making it clear you are only accepting it until the matter has been resolved by the court and full contact as per the order is resumed. If you don''t accept it, you won''t see your child & its important that you do.

This is so wrong, and your ex is going to be in for a shock hopefully.
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  • Mollysda
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01 Apr 12 #321099 by Mollysda
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Thanks for your reply Miss Tish 1,

Yes, the court order from March 2011 ststes that I have staying contact, but I have come to realise that court orders are not worth the paper they are written because mum with child wields the power.
At the previous hearing the judge stated to the mother and her solicitor that the Court Order still stood, but they continue to breach it.
I did apply to enforce the court order, the hearing was in February but they did not turn up.They are collaborating and playing a very nasty game that is most damaging to my daughter.
1 hours contact in a park with my daughter and with her Mum present can only be further damaging to my daughters emotional and psychological wellbeing.How on earth can a solicitor go along with that suggestion?
I did reluctantly agree to 1 hours contact before but guess what? they never turned up and I was left waiting in a chilrens playground for over an hour without any replies to my "where are you" texts.I believe on that occasion that I was literally set up.
I could write a book at this stage.
This is just an impossible damned if I do and damned if I don''t situation.
I am loathed to accept contact under such duress brought on by those that know they are in the wrong, not me.
I am sure that there are many other Dads in a similar predicament.
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01 Apr 12 #321107 by MissTish1
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My husband successfully enforced a contact order back in 2010. She didn''t turn up for the first hearing, and was summonsed to the second. She was dressed down severely by the Judge, and my husband was awarded more contact than he had in the original order, so it is worth doing. Have you been given another hearing date?

You must log each and every breach, keep copies of any communications between you, your ex & her solicitor, particularly any breaches. In court she will be expected to give valid reasons for breaching the order (by valid I mean extreme circumstances, that she can prove), and because she can''t she can expect reprimand.

I know its hard, but don''t give up.
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  • Emma8485
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01 Apr 12 #321116 by Emma8485
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If they didnt turn up at the hearing was it adjourned for another?

This situation must be awful for you and shouldnt be tolerated at all

x
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  • Mollysda
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01 Apr 12 #321118 by Mollysda
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Hi Emma,

It was adjourned for another hearing, which is in with the next CAFCASS hearing at the end of May, which is miles away.
They deliberatley did not turn up, knowing that it would further delay my contact with my daughter.All very systematic on their side.
You are right, the situation should not be tolerated.It was me that got CAFCASS involved and am being punished for it.My daughter is now in a right state and is wary of me.
No dressing down in court will be adequate for such behaviour.
I have self represented in court every time and made her solicitor look very amateur because I had watertight records.
My daughters Mum went through a few solicitors until she found one that will write poison pen letters upon request.
In the past I have contacted every authority and organisation going, but none want to know.
It is now all down to CAFCASS, who I have very mixed opinions about.
I find it incredible how I have had to defend myself (and have successfully) against many allegations because everything the Mum with child has alleged was taken as gospel, meanwhile, all of my concerns as regards my daughter have continuously fallen on deaf ears.
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  • 3littleangels
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02 Apr 12 #321296 by 3littleangels
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That''s awful it should have gone ahead without her there and then a letter sent to her with the order, that''s what my solicitor has told me would happen?? Seems very one sided and unfair on you and your daughter.
I would say don''t give up, also you could write and send cards etc to your daughter, years ago my stepdad did a lot of brainwashing and i didn''t speak to my dad for a few years, now my stepdad is in prison (karma) and my dad is my whole world i talk to him every day and see him at least 4 times a week, hang in there!!
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