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hysterical baby

  • soulruler
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08 Apr 12 #322392 by soulruler
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Lots of thoughts and although I have posted what may be a biased view in favour of mothers it isn''t intended to be that way.

What is not clear at the moment is why your husband went to court and got a court order for contact instead of making reasonable negotiations with you direct.

I am not against good contact and good relationships for children with their fathers but in my particular case I realise I was negligent (although in innocence does that make it any better) in allowing my husband to behave the way he did to our children over the years.

I know it is different when a relationship hasn''t worked out and that a child is born to two parents who are living separate lives and at the moment there is no indication from the original poster that she believes that the father is going to physically hurt the baby.

However, going straight in for a court order for contact with such a young baby seems very heavy handed to me. Only the original poster will know whether that was because she was refusing contact or whether he took it upon himself to take this to court and behave in that way.

Also the OP did say that she felt under pressure just to agree and I know from experience just how vulnerable I felt after giving birth - childbirth totally changed my perspective of the world and me.

I agree that talking together is the way forward and agree with the previous post in that is there anyway you can talk to the father without becoming too emotional or "hysterical".

I also know just how traumatic it is for a mother to hear a baby cry - it is meant to make you feel very distressed and at a time when a relationship has not worked out maybe the baby crying is triggering a huge emotional response in you?

Talking it out with trained professionals and the father is better than resorting to court - courts have very limited time to sort things out and you are going to be parents for the rest of time.
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  • pixy
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08 Apr 12 #322399 by pixy
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Both my daughters went very clingy at that age. Believe me you will eventually realise that getting them used to being with someone else is a godsend. It will enable you to put the baby in a creche while you go for a swim, or take a class, it will eventually help to settle them in playgroup or nursery.

Learning that life is not a disaster when mum isn''t there is an important lesson. And besides he''s the dad. If you were still together you''d love it if he took baby out of the way for a while to give you some me time.

It makes you feel awful when babies cry so heartbreakingly, but it really is transient; they do soon settle.
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  • linc80
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08 Apr 12 #322404 by linc80
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Wow.
I ask 1 question and get too much of this and then too much of that.
OF COURSE YES SHE NEEDED HER MOTHER!! REALLY. BECAUSE I''M THE ONLY CARER SHE HAS KNOWN. I''M NOT DISCOURAGING BABYS RELATIONSHIP WITH DAD. you don''t know me nor our situation. You cannot jump to the conclusion of what I''m thinking.
God I''m done with this site. And I haven''t even read all your posts.
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  • MissTish1
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08 Apr 12 #322408 by MissTish1
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With all due respect, the responses given have been relevant to your opening post. You asked questions such as " how can a dad to that to his child" and " do I really have to let her go?". People have responded based on information given, and sometimes we get responses we may not like.

Please understand that we are all on the outside looking in, and are trying to offer advice on how you can help to maintain and encourage a relationship between your daughter and her father.
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