The first Directions hearing I believe is just to get the ball rolling with some kind of contact and much of what the mother says is taken into account?
The second hearing is more of what the Judge is prepared to give?
Assuming the Judge does not agree to my contact request at the second hearing which he/she won''t,how do things proceed?
Do I ask for a review in say 3 months where upon I would try to increase contact?
Why would the judge not agree with your proposal for contact?
In your case as the first hearing was adjourned for mediation which now appears ot have failed, I think ( but could be wrong) that this second hearing will probably be similar to a first hearing where the timeline for dealing with the issues is set out.
In my partners case this meant dates for statements, Cafcass reports (dont get me started) and then final hearing. I think in some cases they dont order Cafcass reports - one was required in our case.
As for why shouldn''t the Judge agree with my contact proposal,well the mother will argue strongly against it which is why it won;t happen. Apart from that maybe the Judge will think my proposal is too much anyway.
(had two nights per week in 2011)
Current contact is every wed 12.30-5pm then alternate weekends 9am sat - 5pm sun.
Am going for:
Week 1:Wed night(to replace afternoons as I can''t keep taking time off work)
Fri 5pm - Sun 5pm (might go for sun night also)
Wed night,Fri night to drop him off 11.00am sat.
Cafcass were only involved for the first hearing so that should make things easier.
Well, if I remember rightly she already agreed to the Wednesday change at mediation so that should be a moot point really as its what happens now? Its perfectly reasonable to tell the judge that you agreed to it previously in order to get some contact re instatetd, but it wasnt ever to be long term, I dont believe any judge would want someone to lose their job etc.
As you know we have struggled all along and I have to say we are pleased to have the back up of a CAFCASS report even if it took too long!
The only thing I would say about the weekend contact, and its only my thoughts, is that to have him every Friday night means mum could never for example take him away for a weekend. Possibly if you are already having him on alternate weekends then extending that weekend instead, and explaining that you would like for him to have quality time with both of you would be better, and maybe more settled and in fact fun for him if he spent Fri to Mon morning with you?
I could be wrong but from my experiences on here, and a very in depth discussion with the Cafcass officer in our case, this did seem to be the preferred option.
Th reason I was thinking of suggesting the friday and not the Thursday which isnt my weekend is because of her main absurd reason at mediation for not giving staying contact.
That is that as he wakes at 7.30am/8am,then to have him at my house I would need to wake him 7/7.15pm for my work. So it would be unfair to wake him early.
Taking that stance well no child would ever go to school or nursery because they wouldn''t be up on time.
Therefore I was thinking of suggesting the friday as I wouldn''t have to wake him early other than the wednesdays being that I don;t work sats.
O and I won;t take him with me to car boot sales in the summer or for any days out that involve waking him early.
Her other reason against staying contact is in case my son feels he is being pushed out of the way due to arrival of baby sister.
I really hope she says she wants weekends free to go away like she has done because her argument that its unstabling for my son to sleep at my house goes out of the window.Even now over easter they are away for 3 nights.