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will a father never see his son again?

  • honeyb11
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08 Apr 12 #322458 by honeyb11
Topic started by honeyb11
Hello all, im trying to get some advice on fathers rights to seeing their child.
A friend of mine has wanted to leave his wife for some time. Recently he has been close to another woman and has seen that he can have a happy relationship. He is currently unhappy in his marriage and has been for sometime. His wife has found out about him spending time with this other woman. he has been honest with her and says that he wants to leave.
unfortunately his wife has said if he does he will bever see his son again. And if the relationsip with the other women becomes serious she will not allow her son near her too.
She has gone as far to say she has a ''legal junction'' to say if he leaves and is with this other woman he will never see his son again. She has also threatened to take the son to a different country. my friend came home one day to find a passprt for her and his son.
Can all this be done? How much rights does the father have? Can she just stop hi, seeing his son just like that?

any help apreciated.

thank you.

  • pixy
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08 Apr 12 #322469 by pixy
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No she can''t.

The wife is likely to be in shock and finding this all very difficult to handle. Her reaction may reflect her shock rther than a real intenton to deprive him of his son. He needs to give her some time and to be gentle with her while she comes to terms with things.

Tbh the scenario you give is a pretty common one, and it almost always results from some kind of personal crisis in which the individual blames his/her marriage for unhappiness rather than looking within his/her self. If your friend is absolutely certain that a new relationship is what he wants and is what he needs to fix himself then he would nevertheless be well advised to explore counselling for himself and his wife whether together or separately and to get in touch with Families need fathers for advice.

If you are in fact the other woman in his life then you should be aware that this kind of relationship often fails very quickly.

  • Joe2020
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08 Apr 12 #322473 by Joe2020
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honeyb11 wrote:

She has gone as far to say she has a ''legal junction'' to say if he leaves and is with this other woman he will never see his son again.


Utter rubbish.Thats laughable.

Also she can''t stop you seeing your son or take him abroad to live without your agreement.

You will need to fill in a C100 and take it to court if as it seems she will stop access when you leave to be with this woman.
During the time you are waiting for the court hearing which is around 5-8 weeks she will and can stop you seeing your son.

What I would do and I hope someone will correct me if you can''t do this is to file the C100 whilst you are still living together then move out 2 weeks before court.
I''d be really interested to know if this can be done. Otherwise be prepared not to see him for a while.
Also make an appointment with mediation and try to get her to agree to it before court. Otherwise when you get to court they may adjourn the case for mediation if you haven''t attempted it.

You have to remember you are having an affair so don;t expect co-operation from your wife because quite rightly she is hurt and angry.

You need to be very sure about this woman because the reality is adequate contact with your son may be a struggle for a long time.

  • Emma8485
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08 Apr 12 #322474 by Emma8485
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I wont argue with the legalities here - the correct court paperwork would be the c100. A PSO would prevent any move abroad as well.

What I will say is that this woman has just been "smacked in the face" in that not only does her husband want to leave her, he already has met someone else. Its a very familiar situation and will be very painful and probably very unexpected for her and she will be reeling from it all right now. No one can expect her to simply sit down and make arrangements with him right now.

My own divorce wasnt like this and I now have a good non court arrangement for our kids with my ex, but if he had come home and told me that he was leaving me for someone else I cant guarantee that I wouldnt have made the same threat in the heat of the moment. I wouldnt have meant it and would I hope have calmed down but it wouldnt have been immediately!

The situation needs some calming down, any other woman involved should back off right now and allow this man time to discuss the seperation with his wife, no child should see his parents seperate then meet a new partner in any short space of time anyway, as this is not generally seen as a good way to handle these situations.

In seperations where children are involved there needs to be some sensitivity to the childs needs as well as the parents. Take a browse through Wiki, you will find lots of examples in situations such as this to help you advise your friend.

Take Care

  • DrDaddy
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08 Apr 12 #322498 by DrDaddy
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honeyb11 wrote:

A friend of mine has wanted to leave his wife for some time. Recently he has been close to another woman and has seen that he can have a happy relationship.

unfortunately his wife has said if he does he will bever see his son again. And if the relationsip with the other women becomes serious she will not allow her son near her too.


Your friend will find out that his wife''s threats are not realistic.

However, what did he really expect to happen here? He has chosen to end his relationship in a way which is very cruel and confrontational, and she will doubtless make things as difficult as possible for him. The real loser is his son, who will now pay a heavy price for his father''s infidelity.

  • Forseti
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09 Apr 12 #322507 by Forseti
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I think these threats should be taken much more seriously than other posters are suggesting. A mother is easily able to disrupt or even end a relationship between a child and his father if she really wants to and to use the system against him. Large numbers of children lose contact with one of their parents (usually the father) following separation.

By ''junction'' she presumably means an INjunction and there are various injunctive orders such as occupation and non-molestation orders which she can misuse to cause the father severe difficulties with contact. Her use of the term - even if she doesn''t understand it - suggests she may have taken some advice already and be well on the way to making her threat a reality.

Your friend needs to take action to prevent this - it may be sensible to lodge the passports with a solicitor until a PSO (prohibited steps order) can be obtained from the courts.

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09 Apr 12 #322516 by sillywoman
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I would give anything for my ex to have a relationship with our daughters, but unfortunately on the couple of times he has seen one or other of them or spoken on the phone he berates me and makes up lies. The latest was when our youngest (16) met up with him a couple of weeks ago (he had promised her money towards her prom). Bearing in mind he hadn''t seen her for nearly two years, he told her I was stalking him with my boyfriend in a black mercedes (I do not have a boyfriend and know no one on earth who owns a black or any colour mercedes) and that I was texting his girlfriend (I no longer have a mobile phone since being made unemployed over a year ago and even if I did I do not know either his or his girlfriends number and nor would I want to text either of them).

So, you see its not aways mothers who turn the kids away from their dads. Fathers themselves can do a good job of turning their kids away from them.

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