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Is mum enough - Radio 5 live

  • sillywoman
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09 Apr 12 #322623 by sillywoman
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I have one daughter graduating this year in criminology from Liverpool University and has secured a fantastic graduate job. I have another daughter who gained 5 straight A stars at A levels and is studying philosophy at Warwick university and I have a third daughter who is about to go into 6 form.

None of the girls are promiscuous, one has just got engaged after being with her boyfriend for two years, one has been with her boyfriend for 3 years and the youngest 6 months with her boyfriend.

None of my girls smoke or take any kind of drug. Financially it is a struggle as I am unemployed, all girls have a part time job.

My youngest made me a cup of coffee in bed today, my oldest paid for us all to go out for a meal yesterday, all help in the house (when pushed!).

The statistics you quote may be from "fatherless" homes, but maybe there are other issues in the homes as well. Maybe the mother has drink, drug issues so she is unable to care properly for the children.

There are many many single parent families who do brilliantly.

  • stepper
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09 Apr 12 #322626 by stepper
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Well done sillywomen - your girls are a credit to you.

stepper xx

  • Joe2020
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09 Apr 12 #322633 by Joe2020
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sillywoman wrote:

The statistics you quote may be from "fatherless" homes, but maybe there are other issues in the homes as well. Maybe the mother has drink, drug issues so she is unable to care properly for the children.


Or maybe its just because they are kids without dads.

No-one ever said all kids without dads will end up on the fast track to nowhere.

Of course there are many single parent families where the children such as in your case do very well which is to your credit.

The reality is I could probably find many reports online that say children generally are better of with two parents in their lives regardless of whether or not those parents live together.

Obviously some lone parent families consist of just the father and not the mother.

  • Shi Tong
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09 Apr 12 #322634 by Shi Tong
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Indeed Sillywoman, no one is suggesting that all children from one parent families with absolutely no contact with the absent parent turn out bad.. what Jo is trying to do is point out that there is a statistical analysis which shows that single parent homes can unfortunately produce more problem children.

Fiona was pointing out that 70% of children from separated family homes have the same kind of outcome as those from homes which are not separated 85%- however, a 15% disadvantage isn''t actually that great either..

Either way, I think two good parents is better than one, but one good parent is good enough, but it shouldn''t be worded as mother, it should be considered as parent, since, as Fiona also says on many occasions, dads can be just as good as mums...

  • Fiona
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09 Apr 12 #322637 by Fiona
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Joe, you fathers'' rights folk and selected statistics! US statistics aren''t comparable to those in the UK.;)

eg

"63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average."


According to WHO suicide rates for 15-24 year olds in the US are about 10/100,000 whereas the rate for the UK is one of the lowest at in Europe at just 3/100,000. In any case how does the American census define fatherless families? Sweden has the highest rate of shared parenting 50:50 before and after parents separate, but also has a suicide rate of 10/100,000 for 15-24 year olds.


Stepper, it isn''t easy, I don''t have an answer. In our case my ex insisted on having a 3 bedroomed house the same size as me and then used one room as a study and had a lodger in another. The children therefore slept here, but if my ex wasn''t away or out they moved freely between the two homes until he moved 400 miles away. :(

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09 Apr 12 #322649 by Joe2020
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Fiona wrote:

selected statistics!

According to WHO suicide rates for 15-24 year olds in the US are about 10/100,000 whereas the rate for the UK is one of the lowest at in Europe at just 3/100,000. In any case how does the American census define fatherless families? Sweden has the highest rate of shared parenting 50:50 before and after parents separate, but also has a suicide rate of 10/100,000 for 15-24 year olds.
(


1/Selected statistics.
2/''How does the American census define fatherless families''?
Figures tell it all.
3/UK suicide rate.How many of those are from fatherless families? Your statistic tells half the story.

;)

P.S Go to Sweden and your''ll know why the suicide rate is so high.

  • DrDaddy
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09 Apr 12 #322650 by DrDaddy
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Well there are lies, damn lies, and statistics. The first thing that even a superficial interest in politics teaches you is that you can manipulate statistics to misrepresent almost anything.

However, the depth of societal prejudice against fathers is almost unbelievable until you''ve experienced it.

When my son was born my partner was working full time, and I was studying, so I took a sabatical to bring him up for his first year. I had this naive idea idea that people would think it was cute or endearing to be a father visiting health clinic with a 3 month old baby - but actually people just look at you like you have 2 heads. Including the health visitors themselves.

They never took me seriously, and I have encountered the same attitude almost everywhere - GP, nursery, school, etc, to some degree. I have always found it belittling and confusing. But I guess that''s just people.

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