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Is mum enough - Radio 5 live

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09 Apr 12 #322593 by sillywoman
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The system is very unfair,usually to dads.

  • Joe2020
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09 Apr 12 #322600 by Joe2020
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The title and idea ''Is mum enough''is a complete insult to fathers and should not even be discussed.

How about ''Are men in the workplace enough''

or ''Should the UK have just white people''.

I guess at least the subject of fathers is getting some kind of exposure.

Now if we were talking about gay rights,marriage in church etc, far more important than the irrelevance of the family then exposure isn''t an issue going by the blanket coverage.

(Just to clarify I''m all for gay rights but in terms of importance rights for sheep farmers is still more important to me)

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09 Apr 12 #322605 by Shi Tong
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Actually, what haunts me more is the fact that the "coverage" is so fantastically sexist that the titles are enough on their own to show how dads are just seen as a lesser parent in the UK.

For example; I heard that there was going to be a show on the radio (radio 4 I might add) about dads, it was apparently to help dads with legal issues, but the actual content was ONLY about dads with contact. Not only that, but it was all about classes to "help dads bond" with their children, and how some dads find it hard to keep up maintenance.

Personally, I have absolutely no trouble at all bonding with my kids- they can tell me anything (as I always remind them), and they often bring up hard subjects with me cos they trust me. I don''t tell them everything because they''re still so small.

Why is it then, that we can''t have a country or a system which treats people in an equal fashion from the off and give dads the benefit of the doubt instead of nothing but doubt, doubt, doubt, making the lives of not only the dad, but his kids as well, a nightmare.

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09 Apr 12 #322607 by sillywoman
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My parents divorced when I was 11 ish. I went to live with my dad. I adored my dad and he me even though he was a dire husband and actually ended up marrying 6 times!

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09 Apr 12 #322611 by Fiona
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Stepper, I agree it seems unfair that when both parents share care one is deemed single with no dependents. However, I cannot see tax payers picking up the bill for extra CB and tax credits for children to live in two homes.

When parents share care, CB and tax credits 50:50 there is a problem in that many families don''t have enough money so either shared care 50:50 is untenable or the children are brought up in two homes in real poverty. Poverty is a major factor in the poor long term outcomes for children.



Going back to the topic of the the thread most reasonable people would agree that children ideally need both parents. However, the major factors associated with poor outcomes for children of separated families are poverty, parental conflict, multiple changes of family structure and poverty rather than the absence of a parent per se.

When research is analyzed there are a disproportionate number of separated families in inner city areas such as in London, Birmingham and Glasgow where there are higher levels of crime, substance abuse, poverty, unemployment etc across the board.

Most children (70%) from separated families have much the same outcome as 85% of children whose families stay together (Michael Lamb, Cambridge University)It''s important not to write off children from separated families by stigmatizing and damaging their self esteem. There are many successful people who were brought up with absent parents eg Barack Obama and Alan Johnson (former Education, Health & Home Secretary)

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09 Apr 12 #322613 by stepper
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You have correctly summed up the logistics of it Fiona. So what is dad supposed to do?

Take the kids for a McDonalds every other Saturday.

It''s just not acceptable for the majority of caring dads.

  • Joe2020
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09 Apr 12 #322617 by Joe2020
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63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.
90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.
85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Center for Disease Control)
80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes --14 times the average. (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)
71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (National Principals Association Report)
75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes – 10 times the average. (Rainbows for All God’s Children)
70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Sept. 1988)
85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Fulton Co. Georgia, Texas Dept. of Correction)


(In other words,having a father is kinda a good thing)

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