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22 month old wasn''t given back, help needed xx

  • 3littleangels
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09 Apr 12 #322625 by 3littleangels
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Hi I would really appreciate any advice please.
My ex and i are not getting on, he feels he should be able to say when he wants to see our little one and i should just fit in with him. He has 2 days in the week and one at the weekend, as he lives with his mum and 2 others that smoke i have said when he gets his own place he can have her overnight (this would''ve been done gradually and with all bug''s bits that she loves and has etc).
However he had her for the day yesterday and wouldn''t give her back, she had nothing, no pj''s no dummy, no bottle, no clothes for today, most importantly her medication as she has breathing problems!!!!!!!
He said if i''d have let him see her more he wouldn''t have kept her, he also thinks this was good for her as he''s her dad!!
I have always said she can stay when he has his own place and i will get her all her stuff she needs and pack all her comforters, she is only 22 months old and had never been away from me also has never slept through the night so i can only imagine how distressed she was last night.
How can i stop this happening he obviously isn''t thinking of my little lady bug at all and seems to just be trying to get at me using her.
The police wouldn''t get involved as there is no court order so there was nothing i could do (but cry my eyes out to my dad all night worrying about her)
xx

  • sexysadie
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09 Apr 12 #322643 by sexysadie
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You need to get this properly organised into a court order in order to make it harder for him to do this again. Having refused to return her will not help him in court.

Best wishes,
Sadie

  • Fiona
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09 Apr 12 #322644 by Fiona
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Has your daughter now been returned? If so you can apply to court for an order to regulate contact/living arrangements to prevent the same thing happening again.

If not as you found out the police cannot help, but in circumstances where a very young child isn''t returned to the parent with the majority of care and is likely to be distressed you can apply to court as an emergency. It is possible to phone the High Court in London who should be able to put you in touch with a duty judge 24/7.

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09 Apr 12 #322647 by MissTish1
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Just to add to the other advice you have been given, perhaps give dad assurances that once his living arrangements are sorted, there is no doubt that he will be able to have your daughter overnight. I agree his behaviour was somewhat irrational, particularly as she stayed without medication (he could have gone out and bought the other essentials), and so you don''t want it to happen again outside of your agreement and properly organised and agreed contact.

Trying to keep things as amicable as possible can prevent this kind of thing, and prevent him needing to feel he has to prove some kind of point. Assuring him he''s important in her life could go a long way.

  • Joe2020
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09 Apr 12 #322656 by Joe2020
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Fiona wrote:

If not as you found out the police cannot help


The police said they couldn''t help as there was no court order.

As I understood it the police wouldn''t get involved even if there was an order whether its the mum not handing the child over or the dad not returning the child.Right?

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10 Apr 12 #322670 by Fiona
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Joe, fortunately common sense usually prevails but the police and court tipstaff can be involved if a court makes an order for the recovery of a child.

  • 3littleangels
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10 Apr 12 #322704 by 3littleangels
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Thank you everyone for all your help, i now have her back and will be seeking legal advice straight away, just to add though, he is very well aware of me saying as soon as he''s got his own place she can stay one night every weekend.
I was more concerned that she''d never been away from me and that she didn''t have her medication.
Joe the police said to me that when you get a court order it can have arrest warrent attatched and as he''s done this i could get one like that?? so if he doesn''t give her back when he''s meant to he''ll just be arrested. I have already called the police several times as he''s very abusive (not violent, yet!!)
I think keeping it as nice as possible has well passed, i was letting him do whatever he wanted, even having the visits at my house at one point but as his abusive behaviour got worse and i got more scared i''ve stopped him coming in etc and things have just gone from bad to worse.
But thank you all for your help xx

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