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What can he really do.

  • Amd552
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18 Apr 12 #324693 by Amd552
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Hi

I received a letter this morning from my ex partners solicitor, claiming he wants parental responsibility and access to my daughter from thurs to Sunday every week. (we were never married..his name is on birth cert)

No one has stopped his contact, he comes and goes as he pleases. He is verbally abusive to our daughter (she is 10 ) pulled her under a shower ..force fed her dinner.... Also when he has her out in the car he drives at 100 mph plus and drives dangerously ( all of which he finds funny)

I really do not want him to have pr. He has threatened to leave the country on more than one occasion...returns her late...won''t tell me here he lives etc.

She has health issues..he doesn''t administer her meds etc.

I have told him he can have supervised access every fortnight, my daughter is not keen at all...but he says he will get 50/50 custody and make my life hell.


What can he actually do? How much right in law does he have?

Thank you for any help

  • rubytuesday
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18 Apr 12 #324694 by rubytuesday
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Welcome to Wikivorce.

If you don''t give your consent to him having Parenthetical Rights and Responsibilities (PRR) then he can make a (s)11 application to court for PRR under the Children Act (Scotland) 1996.

He has no legal obligation to inform you of his address, although it would be reasonable of him to do so.

What is the current level of contact between your daughter and her father?

Are the incidents you mention isolated ones?

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18 Apr 12 #324696 by Amd552
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We have been separated for 3 years in that time I have been flexible and allowed him contact whenever he wanted, he would leave it weeks at a time and then get in touch the night before he wanted to see her.
My daughter says he shouts t her all the time as does his new partner, the driving is certainly not isolated and is something I have spoken to him about on many occasions. But as he says he can do as he pleases?

  • flowerofscotland
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18 Apr 12 #324701 by flowerofscotland
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Amd552,

I would suggest that firstly you take legal advice from a Family Law Solicitor in Scotland. It is something that I can not recommend highly enough. Raise your concerns and make sure that everything is documented.

If necessary then you may have to take this through the Court process, if your daughter is under 12, it may mean that a Sheriff will need to decide what is in her best interests, but your X may be blowing hot and cold, but if there are threats or risks to your daughter''s welfare, I think this is only in her best interest to go down the legal route. Even if it is only for peace of mind initially. If you can avoid Child Welfare hearings and Court costs I also suggest you do this, but it sounds to me as if you need specialist advice to see what the lay of the land is.

Had I not taken legal advice in the first instance, my STBX would have done what he thought he could and he always thought he was above the law.

Take care for now FoS x

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18 Apr 12 #324703 by rubytuesday
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While its true that he can spend his parenting time as he wishes, if there is an issue of child protection arising, then it needs to be addressed. So no, driving at high (and illegal) speeds isnt something he can or should be doing, esp with his daughter in the car.

I wonder if there had been a regular routine to contact, rather than an ad hoc basis, then perhaps your daughter would feel more settled, and he would take his responsibilities a bit more seriously.

When you say "supervised contact" what did you have in mind? Supervised contact is often not conducive to forming a good relationship between child and parent.

Have you thought about attending family mediation sessions, as a way to move forward and work to resolve the current issues between you? Courts in Scotland prefer conflicting parents to have at least made an attempt to resolve the issues amicably, before they get to Court.

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18 Apr 12 #324705 by Amd552
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Thank you for the advice. I have an appointment with a solicitor who specialises in family law first thing tomorrow morning. I wanted to keep courts out if possible and both be responsible adults and do what''s best for our daughter.

I feel supervised visitation would be beneficial for a while but f course he is having none of that. If we could have just stuck to the arrangements in place we wouldn''t be in this situation. But he seems to just push and push.

Surely no court would think it fair he has her for half a week? She has siblings here and my other worry is forcing her to go. I would literally have to force her to see him.

O dear it''s all such a mess :(

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18 Apr 12 #324706 by Amd552
Reply from Amd552
rubytuesday wrote:

While its true that he can spend his parenting time as he wishes, if there is an issue of child protection arising, then it needs to be addressed. So no, driving at high (and illegal) speeds isnt something he can or should be doing, esp with his daughter in the car.

I wonder if there had been a regular routine to contact, rather than an ad hoc basis, then perhaps your daughter would feel more settled, and he would take his responsibilities a bit more seriously.

When you say "supervised contact" what did you have in mind? Supervised contact is often not conducive to forming a good relationship between child and parent.

Have you thought about attending family mediation sessions, as a way to move forward and work to resolve the current issues between you? Courts in Scotland prefer conflicting parents to have at least made an attempt to resolve the issues amicably, before they get to Court.


He takes my daughter to see his family where she is made unwelcome, they say mean things about myself and her sisters. He let''s her out to roam the streets in an area she doesn''t know...the list just goes on. I thought maybe a contact centre until my daughter feels safe and trusts him (me too)
It''s always his choice to break any routine we set up, and if I try to set any rules, as with the car issue it''s met with aggression and a " your not telling me" attitude.

He refuses to pay any maintenance for her, not that money is an issue...but it seems he wants all the rights with no responsibility.

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