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4/5 year old calling the shots

  • halfadad
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29 Apr 12 #327176 by halfadad
Reply from halfadad

Does he enjoy being with you? when you are together is he scared, unhappy or miserable?

If your order says to pick him up from school and shes not there, hes going to do 1 of two things

1. be happy to see you and go with you
2. start wailing that he doesnt want to go with you

If its the former, the school have witnessed it, and can tell CAFCASS there are no problems and your ex ha to back down

If its the second, your ex has sucessfully manipulated your son, and you can expected supervised contact 10000 hoops to jump, but hopefully professionalsto work with you to solve it leaving your ex no choice but to work with you.

Write to your ex tell her she has 3 weeks to attend mediation else you will file for court. File for a specific issue order banning her from being there due to the "conflicted loyalities" this causes.

Your ex can justify to the judge why she causes these problems.


  • sexysadie
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29 Apr 12 #327186 by sexysadie
Reply from sexysadie
The court may back her up but it is more likely that they will tell her that she has to make your son available for contact and not obstruct it. I agree with halfadad: you need to take a bit more action here.

Best wishes,

  • chatsworth08
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29 Apr 12 #327200 by chatsworth08
Reply from chatsworth08
hes not scares at all when hes with me. We play so much and do so much, painting, drawing, reading, making puppets, go to the shops, cook pizza, feed the ducks etc, we have a antastic time............ When i went to mediation last month, one of the things the mediator said...... My son might be frightened coz im 6 foot, what rubbish, she lives with her mum and hers mums fella in a big house, and hes bigger than me.......so 3 weeks ago when my boy got upset coz he needed the toilet and he went and blamed me for missing the start of his programe....thats when he got upset and kicked me, only in the foot. So i got down to his level and waved my finger from side to side and said we dont kick, its naughty. Anyway he phoned his mum and got upset, she picked him up and blamed me for pointing at him. I told her i didnt point, also told her what happened. It was nothing really, she just said, you frighten him coz your big. Omg, exactly what the mediator said. Since then everyday ive called and gone there to get him on a sat morning, even if she txts me to say he doesnt want to come, hes busy and not even dressed yet. This is 11 in the morning. Shes not dressed either. she shld have backed me up when i told her he kicked me. But all she cld say was dont point. this is a good example, last sunday he phoned and he wanted to come over, so as i was doing nothing i went to get him. When i got there he said i just want to whizz over and build a robot, i said ok but it would be good if you stayed for tea, he said ok. On the way to my house i said have you had medicine for your cough, he said no, all you say is medicine daddy. If you make me take it i will go home. Omg hes bullying me now. I phoned his mum and he didnt have to have any. so we got home, he told me he wanted scooby doo pasta for tea. So we did a bit of drawing and reading then made the robot. Well when we made that he wanted to go home, i tried to persuade him to stay but he wldnt have it. On the way home he asked me to pick him up from school, so i dropped him off. The next day i went to pick him up, he saw me and ran to his mums car. He never said hello, he never spoke a word. His mum dint say go with daddy. i was getting upset so i said goodbye. how do you think i felt....my boy wanted me to pick him up, then when i got there, all he could do was ignore me. Ive done nothing wrong. we have a great time together untill i tell him off for something, then he doesnt see me for weeks, only like that sunday to do something he wants to do. I love seeing him because hes my boy. But im not going to do that in future even if im not busy. Hes got to learn, hes not calling the shots with me. but hes happy to come with me if i say lets go and get a toy, then guess what......his mum says im buying him. Solicitors here i come. I only hope CAFCASS listen to what im trying to say...but as we all know, most of cafcass side with the mums no matter what. But i ont give up, i will get there. p.s. any questions that i shld ask my solicitor thats clever and can be used in court? You know, the ones that mean what im trying to say.........im not allowed to say child manipulation, because the courts dont recognise it. chats

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