I think you need to step back for a while and stop asking her for this and that because all thats doing is allowing her to control the situation.
I know its hard and personally I dont think 3/4 visits a week is good contact. 3/4 nights yes but a couple of hours No.
If it was a final hearing then unfortunately its too soon to go back to court and ask for a variance I would leave it for 6 months, comply with the order the best you can. This way you can show a judge that you are putting the interests of the children first.
As to the football, just go and watch him play. Dont put your son through the stress of having to ask mum to do something that you both know she will say no too.
Speak to your son, say sorry daddy cant have you the night before etc but nothing going to stop me coming to watch you.
Remember your playing the long game, so stop the minor battles and look to the long term.
Big hug to you and your son.
ps dont forget your daughter in this, she needs you too.