A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Mon/Fri 9am-6pm       Sat/Sun 2pm-6pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Moving Away - what do I do?

  • madaboutcars
  • madaboutcars's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
01 May 12 #327758 by madaboutcars
Topic started by madaboutcars
Hi

Ive heard through the grapevine that the ex wife is moving out of the area, also supported by my daughter telling me that she stayed overnight in a hotel and went to see her new school the next day.(We currently live in the same village)

I dont have any issues with her moving away, i appreciate that she has her life although seeing my daughter will become difficult with time and distance etc.

Previous history has proved that I will be told that Absolute minimum and at the very last moment that she has to tell me.

My question is - do i say anything,if i do she will go mental and tell me that its none of my business (!!) and I know she will tell me eventually, proberbly the night before contact (like she did on her last home move), and she will say that i will be told as and when it is necessary (letter was even sent by my solcitor asking her).

Do i need legal advice, have i any rights? I have PR??

  • TomAdams
  • TomAdams's Avatar
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
More
01 May 12 #327780 by TomAdams
Reply from TomAdams
Read up on PR. You have rights. Your wife is even meant to consult you about any changes to your daughters school and home.

You can apply for a prohibited steps order to stop the move but the court will most likely let her move and as such you are only delaying the inevitable.

Again you do have rights but there is little that the courts can do to enforce them. You can politely point out to your wife that she has a legal obligation to keep you informed but she can then completely disregard that obligation and very few judges will take her to task over that.

In a just society Resident parents would not be permitted to move the children more than 1 hours drive from the non resident parent without their consent but realistically the sooner you just learn to suck up these abuses the better you will be. There is no justice in the family courts.

  • u6c00
  • u6c00's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
01 May 12 #327791 by u6c00
Reply from u6c00
Tom is right, you can get a prohibited steps order. Some courts will even do it without notice.

In your case it doesn''t sound like it would be worth it in your situation (with the exception I''ll go into below). If you don''t mind her moving anyway there isn''t any point. Most likely, if you were successful in obtaining the order (which is a big if unless there is a good reason), she would get served the next day and she would go to a solicitor who would get it overturned within a short period of time and you would be several hundred pounds poorer, and a good few steps backwards in any attempt at a reasonable relationship with your ex.

The exception to that is if you believe that she is moving in order to limit your contact. You would need to convince a judge of this, and she would need to convince the judge that she isn''t moving for that reason but for a valid reason (such as work, to be close to family, anything that sounds reasonable basically).

I recently read a judgement from an unusual case. Lesbian couple had a child via artificial insemination. There was a contact order in place after the relationship broke down. The PWC planned to move several hundred miles away and the judge believed it was to limit contact. Judge blocked the move, but the parent moved anyway. Custody was eventually transferred to the other parent because of her action.

Not sure how relevant that is for you. If she''s only planing to move a few miles away then there''s no point, and you just have to suck it up and deal with it I''m afraid. The (relatively) small things like not communicating or giving appropriate notice won''t get you anywhere. Your parental rights are protected in principle, but not in practice because there is no effective consequence.

  • Fiona
  • Fiona's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
01 May 12 #327803 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
How old is your daughter now and what is the current level of contact/shared residence?

  • jammin35
  • jammin35's Avatar
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
More
01 May 12 #327808 by jammin35
Reply from jammin35
There is indeed no justice. My wife moved my children 50 miles away and this limits my access. I had a hard time accepting it and I still don''t like the impact that this has had on their schooling, but the man she met has actually turned out to be a decent fellow despite my reservations. So it could be worse.

It is hard knowing that you won''t see your kids so often and it''s hard knowing that you may incur costs you didn''t expect. But the reality is this is probably going to happen anyway.

The sad thing is that neither the courts nor the CSA are prepared to take the father''s feelings into account. I can understand where a mother is moving somewhere with a better support network (for example near her family) but if it is a random move then it is unfair and the father should at least receive some compensation for his increased access costs.

James.

  • rugby333
  • rugby333's Avatar
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
More
02 May 12 #327830 by rugby333
Reply from rugby333
As a non resident father, you can make your ex wife''s life difficult through the courts, but you cannot change the outcome if she is determined. This is because on all child issues, ultimately the judge''s choice is always either to abide by the mother''s decision or change the children''s primary carer to the father.

No court will imprison a mother in family court proceedings for failure to follow an order and there is not a hope in hell that a judge will change the primary carer to you. Accordingly the practical reality is that the court has removed itself as a relevant arbiter of child disputes in divorce cases.

To that end, your ex wife is completely correct when she says it is none of your business and you will know when you need to know, which she will determine.

Therefore to answer your specific question: moving away - what do I do? Let her get on with it as there is next to nothing you can do about it.

  • hawaythelads
  • hawaythelads's Avatar
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
More
02 May 12 #327836 by hawaythelads
Reply from hawaythelads
I think the only practical step you could try to have any say in this legally would would be gender reassigment surgery.If the kid had two mums that might somewhat feck the female bias family law system.:blink:
Until then the statute books for family law only need two sentences.
THE MOTHER CAN DO WHATEVER THE FECK SHE LIKES WITH THE KIDS.
THERE''S FECK ALL THE FATHER CAN DO ABOUT ANY THING SHE DECIDES.
oh then maybe a third line.
BUT WE CAN''T ADMIT THAT AS IT WOULD BE SEXIST.SO WE WROTE ALL THIS OTHER PRETEND BLA BLA SHxT ABOUT PARENT WITH CARE TO LOOK LIKE THE UPPER CLASS JUDGES DO SUMMIT FOR THEIR MONEY.

All the best
HRH xx

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11