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husband will not consent for daughter''s holiday

  • trolleydolly
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03 May 12 #328168 by trolleydolly
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Please can somebody help. I am from a Spanish family whereby my mother regularly travels to Spain to spend time in her homeland. My mother is very close to my daughter and she cares for her when I am working away.

I would like my daughter to spend the summer in Spain with my mother so that she can improve on her Spanish and see the rest of her family there. My problem is this, my husband will not consent to her going to Spain because he wants to take her to France. I also had to cancel my daughter''s holiday to Spain at Easter time because again, he did not consent to her going because he wanted her to holiday in France with him. You may wonder why I am allowing him consent to go to France. The issue is this, when my mother is in Spain I have no other available childcare when I am working away, he knows this and uses it to his advantage to state that he will care for her, this is when he takes her abroad on holiday.

If my daughter goes to Spain she will be with her grandmother some of the time as I will be working away. Can I apply to the Courts to take her to Spain to be cared for by my mother? Or is she never going to go again because my husband won''t give his consent and she''ll forever be holidaying in France with him?

Thank you!

  • AbsentFather
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03 May 12 #328188 by AbsentFather
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It may sound reasonable to you but to send the daughter away for the whole summer with no time with the father is asking him to concede a lot.....

Will the courts agree to it? Most likely never although you may get lucky.

Technically if you leave the daughter overseas and return to the UK without the fathers consent for the child to be left overseas in the care of her grandmother then you are guilty of child abduction.

You can take her out of the country accompanied by yourself and without his consent for up to 1 month.

In reality .... My wife a French national does this every summer. She takes the children out of the UK, stays with them for a week in France and then returns to her job and leaves them with the French Grandparents. At no time does anyone stop either her or her parents demanding to see a letter giving my consent.

Would he go to the police and border agency if you went against his wishes and ask them to repatriate your daughter?

  • maisymoos
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03 May 12 #328190 by maisymoos
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I am not an expert but looking at a possible resolution. Would it be possible to share the school holidays or aleast agree which weeks are your contact time and which weeks are his. It would then be up to each of you to decide what to do in your own allocated time.

In your weeks I see no reason why your daughter should not spend time with her maternal grandmother that would be your decision and in his he can take her to France.

How old is your daughter, does she have a preference?

  • MrsMathsisfun
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03 May 12 #328208 by MrsMathsisfun
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Actually Absent dad.

If both parents have PR and there is not a residence order stating the child lives with a particular parent then neither parent can take their child abroad without the permission of the other parent for any period of time.

  • Fiona
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03 May 12 #328218 by Fiona
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Strictly speaking unless someone has a residence order in their favour it is an offence to take the children abroad without the appropriate consent from all those with Parent Responsibility. However, consent cannot be refused without good cause.

Under s1 Child Abduction Act 1984 it isn''t an offence for a parent to take the children abroad if they believe the other parent would give consent or if consent is unreasonably withheld. It''s unreasonable to withhold consent preventing a child from enjoying the usual a one or two weeks family holiday a couple of times a year with a parent, unless there is a history of non compliance with contact orders or there is an exceptional reason.

If someone without a residence other than a parent takes a child abroad they need consent from both mother and father.

In this particular case you can apply to the courts for a specific issue order to resolve the matter. The outcome I suspect will be some sort of compromise which perhaps you could reach between yourselves, or with the help of a mediator, rather than going to court. Spending time with a parent is usually a priority, but spending time with extended family is also important.

  • trolleydolly
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03 May 12 #328224 by trolleydolly
Reply from trolleydolly
Thanks all for your replies.

Yes he would definitely contact the Border Agency and police if I were to take her out of the country. She would have been with her grandmother for 5 weeks and two of those would have also been spent with me. She is 4 years old and is now asking to see her family in Spain. It seems to me from your replies that the Courts will deem two weeks abroad as reasonable. I will therefore now consider this option and try to seek some compromise with her father.

Thanks again.

  • TomAdams
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03 May 12 #328230 by TomAdams
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Easy in practice to ignore the laws and just plead ignorance once caught.

If you are a man taking the children away though you face every prospect of being prosecuted.

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