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Have I made the right decision?

  • happyagain
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05 May 12 #328520 by happyagain
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Perhaps he is quite embarrassed and feels he ''deserves'' his punishment. Or, possibly, like my husband, he doesnt realise what rights he has. My husband had no idea of the legal system, completely believed the eastenders spin on things, and thought he had to go along with whatever crumbs his ex offered him for the first 2 years after they split.
Don''t automatically think the worst, I am sure he is hurting too.

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05 May 12 #328522 by happyagain
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Text mate, I am sure if you are being honest you''ll admit that things have happened on your watch too. We''re all human and can''t watch our kids 24/7. And kids are very clever at getting around systems!

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05 May 12 #328524 by EGGBOX
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  • MrsMathsisfun
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05 May 12 #328528 by MrsMathsisfun
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I would ask your daughter if she wishes to go then be the bigger person and make contact.

Its hard when emotions are running high and everything is up in the air, but sometimes we have to accept we made the wrong decision, even if its feel like for the right reasons and put it right.

x

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05 May 12 #328531 by rugby333
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Don''t ask your kids what they want to do re relationship with their father. They are kids. Until they are adults it is up to you to decide what is in their best interest and overwhelmingly their best interest is to see both their parents. If you ask them, then you are asking them to make short term decisions about something that will have long term consequences. This would be wholly irresponsible of you as would denegrating their father by insisting on supervised contact.

Having said that, of course this is upsetting for you and the reason he is going with the flow is that he knows he has no choice. Happyagain is completely wrong when she/he says he does not know his rights: neither parent has any rights in law concerning their children, they solely have responsibilities.

My strong advice is you ask him to make sure he hides/deletes/changes the passwords on his computer and that he please be careful.

As an aside and as a man and NRP, I would not dream of interferring with the way my ex wife and her partner treat my children who live with her: it would be unthinkable and I would consider myself unbelievable cheap for even considering doing so.

There is only one way to think post divorce and that is onward and upward for the next journey in life, so concentrate on that not this minutiae.

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05 May 12 #328533 by MrsMathsisfun
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Sorry didnt realise the child was only 13. In that case you need to continue with the arrangements that have been agreed prior to this occurring.

Although I would be questioning the child motivation for sending you the pictures. Was it to hurt you? Stir things up for dad?

Also what has upset you the most? The fact he took the pictures? For allowing your child for being on the laptop? That your child has seen such images?

Of course you want to protect your child from the realities of life but maybe the cost of her not having a good relationship with dad is to high a price to pay.

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05 May 12 #328534 by Lostboy67
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Hi
Perhaps you could offer some advice to him on how to install internet filters on his computer and setting up account for the girls, he could then restrict the internet sites they go to and restrict access to his ''filth''

LB

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