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contact and shared residency

  • sexysadie
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05 May 12 #328630 by sexysadie
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The father already has monthly contact and half the holidays, based on CAFCASS interviews with the daughter, and the daughter appears to have been going to at least some of this. She herself has proposed a compromise of three-weekly contact which her father has turned down.

The judge may have put a penal notice on the order but he has also awarded residence to the OP. So I don''t think we can necessarily conclude that the OP is frustrating contact.

Rugby333, the other thing you need to be aware of is that it isn''t very polite to talk critically about an OP as if they weren''t there. Just because she isn''t sitting in front of you doesn''t mean that she can''t see what you are saying.

Best wishes,
Sadie

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06 May 12 #328701 by rugby333
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Of course I''m not being impolite. I am simply stating the obvious.

Ellen has been a nightmare of epic proportions for 11 years and the court has had enough. Ergo penal notice.

What part of that is complicated or impolite?

Sexysadie: do you have any idea what you are talking about relating to CAFCASS or the court process and what level of evidence is required before a penal notice is awarded?

  • Fiona
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06 May 12 #328704 by Fiona
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rugby333 wrote:


... The judge has slapped a penal notice on the order. To get to that stage many many many orders have been broken and the court has had enough of excuses.


Normally that is the case but not always. Sometimes the courts get it wrong and there has been penal notice or even committal and then a parent has been vindicated.

The bottom line is the answer to the question asked is that there are penalties for not complying with shared residence or sole residence/contact orders so there isn''t a a great deal of difference between the two.

  • dukey
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06 May 12 #328707 by dukey
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A penal notice is served to enforce existing Directions from a judge, if a person fails to comply the notice can be served at that point, so first time round.

  • EllenD
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07 May 12 #329034 by EllenD
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My ex partner has never lived with me and wanted me to have an abortion. He never expressed much interest in the first few years and contact was encouraged by me. He now sees contact as a means of control. He repeatedly sends my daughter to stay with somebody else when he has contact and tries to initiate nights out with me. He buys inappropriate underwear and clothing, turns up at my house whenever he feels like it and even had my phone bugged, where he had to travel down 100 miles to within a few metres of my house in order to listen to my phone calls.
My daughter has been kept in the dark about a lot of this behaviour and has been encouraged to see her father as often as possible and he has been encouraged to attend her concerts etc, which he very rarely does.
My daughter recognises that her father is more interested in pursuing a relationship with me thatn with her. She does not have any friends at his house. His house is disgusting and he has a temper, which can be focussed on her.
I would love to have a relaxed situation where my daughter can pick and choose when she sees her father without a regimented enforcement and one which her father is willing to work around what suits them both the best. Unfortuately, he will not be flexible and only seeks a controlling attitude and order.
Hardly the same as your situation. I do pity you not having contact with your children. It is certainly not what I wanted for my daughter. It would certainly have been easier for me not having to endure an abusive relationship, had I done so.

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07 May 12 #329036 by EllenD
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Thanks.
Monthly contact was agreed last July, with CAFCASS and all of us. My poor daughter went for 3 weeks as a compromise as she knew her father was pushing for 2 weekly. She is frightened of him and being able to stand up to him. I do not want my situation to be compromised if she refuses to go. I have taken her to the police station before, to try and get them to intervene. Their view is that she does not have to go if she does not want to. If my ex was reasonable, he would comrpomise, but he is totally inflexible and will deny my daughter things that she wants to do to have her sitting in his house being bored!

I wanted to know if shared residence would mean that contact would not be enforcable.

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07 May 12 #329043 by EllenD
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I have been threatened by my ex repeatedly that he will continue with litigation until my daughter reaches 16.
He is obsessed with me and continually uses the threat of court to try and pursue a relationship.
I have had persistent harassment, phone calls, visits, bugged home phone, tracked mobile.............
I have done everything I can to encourage contact, he has all concert dates, parents'' evening etc.
My daughter is perceptive. She also has a lot of things on at home and wants to see friends, do homework and particpate in her various activities.
We have both tried to compromise over contact, but my ex insists on rigid contact, which is not the way to go with a 14 year old.

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