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Will this work against me?

  • Joe2020
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12 May 12 #330151 by Joe2020
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1/Following a second Directions hearing 3 weeks ago which resulted in no increase in contact, I was so incensed partly due to the totally dismissive way I was treated by the Judge that I didnt pick my son up for contact for two weeks.
Also I figured maybe I could force my ex into agreeing a new contact order if she thought she would lose her ''free'' weekend.
Anyway that was a waste of time.Shes threatening to use this not turning up against me at our final hearing.

When the next hearing takes place in september ''normal''contact would have been resumed for 4 months.Will the Judge look badly on a 2 week period out of 10 months since the original court order in December?

I can blag part of that 2 weeks and say i was ill,couldnt get the time off work etc.

I''m half tempted to admit to it all and just say I was furious at how I was treated and I was furious so little concern was shown that my son should spend more time with his father.

  • mumtoboys
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12 May 12 #330158 by mumtoboys
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Joe - she will of course try and use it against you but whether or not it''s significant probably depends on how ''good'' her legal rep is, what side of bed the judge got out of that day and whether there''s an ''R'' in the month...

Try not to cut your nose off to spite your face - who suffered during the time that you decided not to turn up for contact? Certainly not your ex as you were handing her ammunition against you on a plate! If you''d prolonged it, maybe it would have had the effect you were looking for but having recently come out of a 15 month period of my children having no contact with their dad (his choice, long story), I can honestly say that the ''no contact'' thing was far easier on me on a day to day basis than it is having to deal with the ex and his demands.

Stick to what is ordered and keep your anger with your ex to a minimum and outwith your relationship with your son. That way, there''s nothing to come back and bite you.

  • Joe2020
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12 May 12 #330162 by Joe2020
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I wasnt trying to spite myself.
It was a combination of seething with rage and also trying to get her to agree on another contact order.

Ive always picked my son up when it was contact,whether court contact order or the agreement I had with my ex before.
However bad things got I was always there.

Ive turned up at her house many times not knowing if she was going to hand my son other.Many times she didnt.

Its ironic that she would now threaten to use this.She can''t prove it and I will blag some of it.

  • MrsMathsisfun
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12 May 12 #330164 by MrsMathsisfun
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I dont think 2 weeks out of 10 months will hold much weight, especially if you have evidence that she has broken the agreement too on occasions.

I wouldnt admit you did it in angry and be careful about blaging it.

Has she been given residence or are you still hoping for shared residency?

  • Joe2020
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12 May 12 #330180 by Joe2020
Reply from Joe2020
She broke the agreement when it was a private arrangement and not the contact order although she hasnt kept to other stipulations of the original contact order.

I am hoping I can get SR at the next hearing.

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