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If I moved, what contact could we arrange?

  • Jenna29
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14 May 12 #330415 by Jenna29
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There is a potential job which is around 100 miles from where my daughters father lives. At the moment, she sees him alternate weekends only - no weeknight contact and no holiday contact, at his choice. She is 4 years old. If we moved, what contact would her father be likely to get? He has a company car with free fuel so if he were willing to travel, would he still be likely to have alternate weekend contact despite the long journey for our daughter?
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  • Hamilton1
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14 May 12 #330427 by Hamilton1
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In short - dependant on there being no other pertinent factors - yes that does sound reasonable.

What are you hoping for?

H
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14 May 12 #330528 by Jenna29
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I don''t know really. He''d probably say he''ll travel but I think a 200 mile round trip is too much for her age every other weekend. She struggles with the journey at the moment and he is only 30 miles away. The problem is he doesn''t want to use his holidays from work to have contact, so the alternate weekends would continue to suit him better than having extended contact in the holidays.
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15 May 12 #330561 by halfadad
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I think if hes willing to travel then yes he will get alternate weekends contact order

You state that your daughter already has trouble with contact and the disruption after and before contact - surely less frequent contact (which you seem to be proposing) would only make this problem harder for her?

If you dont want her to travel that far on alternate weekends - dont move.
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  • Emma8485
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15 May 12 #330607 by Emma8485
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Jenna is the job for you or your partner?
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15 May 12 #330611 by Jenna29
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It is for me, Emma.

Halfadad - It seems unfair that you expect my daughter and I to live in the same place forever to be closer to her father who only sees her for 24 waking hours a month. Yes there is lots of disruption around contact, therefore if it were less frequent but for longer periods then it wouldn''t be so hard on our daughter in my opinion.
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  • Emma8485
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15 May 12 #330614 by Emma8485
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Hi Jenna,

I turned down the "Holy Grail" of jobs last year because it would have meant moving 160 miles away from my childrens dad, despite this job being right near where my partners child lived which would have made his life easier, I had to put the girls first, despite me desperately wanting the promotion.

This past week I have been offered a similar promotion but working from home with just two days travel, which I can now fit round when the girls go to their dads so it all worked out in the end.

I am not saying your situation is the same, I am lucky because of the type of project work that I do and the fact that I work for a national company gives them more flexibility but you are about to have a baby, the situation with your partner is about to get more stressful because of him taking his ex to court, and your daughters only four. Its a lot of stress and upheaval for both of you, and as a working mum with two kids I can tell you its really hard work to juggle things, especially when you dont have massive family support.

Its something I would think really long and hard about especially as its likely he would get alternate weekends, especially if he was willing to do the travel.

Take care
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