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What next - mediation declined

  • FeelingLow
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14 May 12 #330536 by FeelingLow
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Briefly, my Ex is now remarried and lives about 11/2 hours drive away which she makes me do if I want contact.

I have never had more than alternative weekends and part holidays. I work shifts and it difficult for me to commit to particular weekends but I do try.

However, I now get much less than alternate weekends with contact reduced for Mothers Day, Grand Parents staying for dinner etc. It has become increasing difficult to keep in contact even by phone. While its not usually a problem getting hold of my (12) Son on his mobile, the landline to the Ex''s house is never answered probably due to caller ID. So I rarely get a chance to talk to my daughter (8).

Now I know many folk are in a much worse situation but I have seen my daughter for about 5 minutes in the last 5 weeks and that was over the driveway gate at the Ex''s house. My Son came for an overnight but my daughter has a "cough".

Last weekend I gave up the Saturday as my Son had a vey important school exercise but myself and my partner got in car early in Sunday to take both children out for a day. When we were nearly there we got a text saying they were to tired and another cough had arrived so don''t bother coming. A 3 hour round trip for nothing.

I have employed a mediation lawyer to try and convince her we need to resolve the issues with contact. Today I had a phone call with the lawyer who suggested that based on the Ex''s response then mediation would not work.. She is sending the SM1 form to say I have tried.

Sorry for the long post but I would like to know where I go now! My work pattern makes it difficult for my Ex but I reckon that''s just tough. She needs to gpive more priority to my contact but insists on booking friends, functions and various other stuff on my contact days just because my work roster has not been published.

I think a formal court order may be required and I have downloaded the forms but if anyone has a better solution then ip would be very grateful to hear it.

  • hawaythelads
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15 May 12 #330543 by hawaythelads
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Hi
Yes sounds as if you need to get a contact order in place.
That way she can''t keep treating the kids like possessions.
All the best
Pete x

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15 May 12 #330564 by FeelingLow
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Can a contact order also stop unreasonable demands?

My Ex will not release the children to anyone but me. For example, my partner offered to drive a 3 hour round trip to pick the children up so we could go straight to a wedding after I finish work.

This was refused as contact time means I have to be there 24 hours and nobody else should be involved!

Apart from greatly upsetting m partner and her two children, it means my two kids will miss the main part of the wedding and spend ages in a car etc.

I don''t ask what she is doing with the children every minute but I am constantly harassed and abused when they are with me. Stupid remarks about what food I have given them, the time they went to bed, who they are with make my contact weekends (when I do get them) very tense.

Now she is saying that she wants a copy of my roster each month and that it''s not good enough for me just to advise her of my days off. I have no idea why she wants this but it''s not for my benefit. Honestly it''s none of her business and I don''t get a copy of her new husbands schedule so why should she see mine.?

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