First directions help needed

Your gf response wasnt helpful and very childish but what is done is done and all you can do is put up your hands and admit that you were wrong.

When the whole of society allows children to think they are adults by the time they are 12. Its hard to remember they are actually children. Now you need to see the child in your daughter, who is hurting and all you can do is attempt to reach out try and make amends.

At court suggest that you and your daughter need more family therapy and that you would be happy to attend. (Pick a more professional Councillor this time)

As to your wife telling her ''''the truth'''' but you not just remember two wrongs dont make a right.

Calm down, you will be fine.

I doubt you will, but think - but your girlfriend - a supposed adult did that? Perhaps she does not want your daughter on the scene and feels threatened? I would be very very careful where your loyalties lie right now.

Perhaps reading this thread may give you some perspective?

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Advice...something-to-me.html

Hadenoughnow

It was a mistake but it is done now. Everyone of us has done rash things in the heat of our divorces, the thing now is to minimise the damage. I would question to what level your wife is involving your daughter in the divorce proceedings, I would remind her that it is an offence for children to be made party to these (she will deny having done so but a warning shot has been fired).
It is also quite normal for people to smile when they are nervous, I see it loads as a teacher and it is nothing short of infuriating but it is recognised and accepted as a reaction.
Your daughter may only be 12 but that is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. She may be very confused but texts threatening to kill people are not acceptable. I do not know many 12 year olds who would think it is and I work in a school where over a third of kids come from split families.

That was 8 months ago, councilling 1 month. I''ve never felt so out if control of a situation. I wanted mediation with my wife to enable us to go forward together as divorced parents to decide what was best for the kids. She refused over and over and I feel like I am fumbling.

I sat in that councilling session totally unprepared and completely nervous. She stated I found my daughters distress ''amusing''! I asked if I should come again- it was the first time we had spoken in 8 months - councillor said it wasnt necessary.

I have tried to get help or advice from local authorities but they wouldn''t see me without wife- and kids refused to go. It''s all soo fecked. The whole situation

Her loyalties are with me 100 percent and the initial text was her trying to alive any fears my ex had instilled as she had been telling the kids I would trick them into meeting her. It was kind and genuine- but the response was death threats. I raised her language with my wife who said it was fine as it was directed towards her. That was the only time my gf sent a text.

I am shocked you told your daughter you never loved her mother. You married someone and had 3 children with her and now deny ever loving her?

13 is a very difficult age for a child. To feel you are a product of an unloving relationship is a very hard concept to come to terms with.