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Help - No communication with ex

  • Mark100
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18 May 12 #331336 by Mark100
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Hi All

I have been trying to communicate with my ex so the children can go to their football, children''s parties, etc, as well as arrange holidays.

Whenever I ask for information on something she usually directs me to her solicitor or does not respond, so that I have to then write to her solicitor anyway.

Her solicitor has just sent me an email to say that her file has been closed as the case is at an end so I have to contact my ex directly.

So now ex won''t communicate and the solicitor has said the file is closed.

What should I now do as we have some serious matters to address as well as the ongoing usual things?

Any help ior guidance will be gratefully received!

Many thanks from Mark

  • Lissa1974
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18 May 12 #331350 by Lissa1974
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Mark, I have pretty much the same situation. I have no lines of communication to my ex, as she will not be civil on the phone, has blocked me from email and won''t answer texts.

I like you, have holidays to organise. I have missed out on two holidays as she has refused to come back to me with dates. I don''t know where to turn.

mediation would be a logical choice, but she refuses, so like you I have few options here.

I guess the only thing you can do is ask your solicitor to write to her with the information you want to explain to her. I have put letters in my sons bag for her in a last attempt to get some answers from her.

  • DrDaddy
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18 May 12 #331408 by DrDaddy
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You cannot force her to talk to you, Mark. If, by not talking to you, she ends up breaching your contact order, then you will have reason to return to court...

Undoubtedly she is doing this to wind you up. She is exerting her power over you by refusing to speak - don''t let it get to you, or you will encourage her further.

  • aboy
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18 May 12 #331442 by aboy
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I had a similar if not worse problem. I went to the social services to address my issues and that poked a response out of my ex about the kids. Mind you it''s a rather dramatic way of invoking an answer but if you explain reasons clearly that the children are suffering by having their father ostracised from their lives and that the mother is simply using the children to exercise control over you this will not be in the best interest of the children. In my situation, I was struggling to find out who the children''s GP was so that I could discuss certain health issues. She would not answer and eventually I had no choice but to ask the social services and got a response within hours. Have a go gently gently and you''ll get an answer :)

  • MrsMathsisfun
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18 May 12 #331458 by MrsMathsisfun
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Mark

My understanding of your situation is that your ex is allowing the contact to take place but wont agree to any additional contact?

What does your Consent Order say regarding additional contact? Does it say you need to agree between yourselves or does it not mention additional contact?

  • Mark100
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18 May 12 #331494 by Mark100
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Hi there

It says additional contact to be agreed between ourselves.

She also told my son he could watch the football with dad on Wednesday and Thursday and then on Friday morning said he has to go to her sisters to watch it. He said ''she is confusing me''. How cruel...
She should not be sending messages or dealing with it through the children but keeps doing it.

I just don''t know what to do as she won''t communicate at all - she has not told me whether he can or can''t watch it...my daughter said she told her he could watch it but she couldn''t. My son says he ''thinks'' it''s off.

She removes all of my daughter''s homework, etc from her folder and school even gave an extra diary for ''dad''s''. She has removed that as well.

(I am getting tempted to break the order as I am 100% sure it is for their benefit. If she takes any action at least it''s a way of highlighting what she is doing).

The Childrens Legal Service Helpine thinks it ''seems wrong'' that I look after them 4 days but they only get to stay one night and have suggested going back to court to vary the order...but also I have to wait a bit longer (it seems they have to be let down about 40 times instead of 20 before it can re-looked at seriously again).

Their mother is a nasty nasty bully.

  • MrsMathsisfun
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19 May 12 #331527 by MrsMathsisfun
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So if the contact order states additional contact to be agreed between you and she has closed all lines of communication. Then I would say she is breaking the contact order.

I would record all attempts by you to negotiate and any evidence that she isnt and apply to court for enforcement (or what ever the next option is!)

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