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Help: Overnight stays stopped

  • caraway
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20 May 12 #331896 by caraway
Topic started by caraway
I am pretty much divorced and have been separated for 13 months. My routine with the kids has been every other weekend and 2 nights in the week since the separation.

The midweek stays were stopped 2 months ago by my ex as the youngest (only just turned 2)is not sleeping with her apparently. She has slept fine with me wherever we have been living for the last year. I was told if I didn''t bring them back by 7pm after seeing them for 1.5hrs after work then overnight stays on my weekend would be stopped too.

I have been to 1 mediation session where she didn''t agree to start the overnight stays again and suggested alternatives that were worse for me (and the girls) and favoured her. My second mediation session is soon and I don''t know what to do. It seems so strange that she sleeps fine with me but not with her. She won''t let me have the eldest on her own either as she feels the youngest will see it as a punishment(?!). If it is the case that she isn''t sleeping then how can she prove this? How can I prove that she is sleeping at mine? How can this be resolved through mediation? I want to go back to our routine but it seems the ex just wants to continue in this way indefinitely. She has also threatened more CSA payments as I am not having them any more overnight in the week (against my choice and the agreement stated in the divorce petition).

She is also moving house in a week or so, which is about 15 miles away. The girls are being taken out of nursery/school and school choices have been made and I wasn''t consulted about any of this. I was told that it was happening. She has health issues and needs to be near her family who provide her with support, I believe. Still, I should be consulted on these matters, right?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. If you need any more detail, just ask in the thread.


  • Lissa1974
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21 May 12 #332045 by Lissa1974
Reply from Lissa1974
Sounds like your ex is like mine, all about the control. She has no real reason to stop the overnights, and believe''s her opinion is the final decision. You can''t argue against it, I''ve tried. It leaves you nowhere, court order is the only way, and if like mine she would get legal aid, and you don''t, she will have a solicitor rep her, and you will have to pay anywhere between 5-12k to fight it in court, and could still lose.

My advice, be nice to her, jump through hoops, do all you can, because the law will not help you. She has the control and can do as she pleases. Mediation won''t help if she digs her heels in, and then only a court can make the decision. It just seems so wrong, especially as you had a set pattern in place, but if she says it''s not working there is little you can do other than court.

  • khan72
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22 May 12 #332330 by khan72
Reply from khan72
you can self represent and be a litigant in person. :)

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