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Tricky contact history - Dad now moved away.

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21 May 12 #331948 by Confusedmumdotcom
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Hello all

I would love some advice please.

Background - Daughter 9 years old. Divorced her Dad age 16 months. Regular unsupervised contact until age 5.5. Contact stopped due to physical abuse. No direct contact until last year. Daughter has had therapy/councilling, apology and assurances from Dad and is now having direct contact with him on the proviso her Step Mum and baby half brother are present too. This is the only way she will agree to see him. Court been involved since contact stopped CAFCASS pulled out when contact resumed. We are now trying to get away from court. He is seeing her once a month at the moment however I had hoped it would become more frequent in time however this is all she would accept.
Problem now arisen that Dad has moved further away from where we live. 80 miles away to be precise. Although this was unavoidable for him due to his job he has asked that every other contact that I take her to see him at his home. A 160 mile round trip. Is it just me or is this unreasonable? If we were to stand in front of the judge could he order me to make the journey?
He has said if she doesn''t go there he will not bring his son down to see her here. I can see why as it is a long way for a 1 year old to travel but she is refusing to see Dad if brother and step mum are not there. I feel he is blackmailing her a little as in ''if you want to see your brother you have to come here to see him''. How do I compromise and keep the contact going at a pace that she will accept.
Any advice would be very welcome.

Thanks in advance.

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21 May 12 #331949 by Confusedmumdotcom
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Should also mention that daughter has been clear she does not want to go to his home and will not talk about it further.

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23 May 12 #332533 by Confusedmumdotcom
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Can anyone help please?

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23 May 12 #332542 by Fiona
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I don''t think it would be unreasonable to do the traveling every other month if this is helpful for your D to maintain contact and it doesn''t leave the family destitute. A judge could order you make the journey be this is unlikely if it is your ex who has moved away.

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