I am still shocked by my ex...he curently has contact of friday 6pm to sunday 9am which he sticks to.He is supposed to pick up our son 2 days a week as well but said he cant do this as he doesnt get home on time.
I have now suggested that maybe if he wants to that he could extend the sunday contact with our son to make up the time but he doesnt reply....
I just dont understand some men ive spent a 2k getting contact sorted because this man said he wanted more and now it there..doesnt want it!
My son is at present going through the Courts for a 50/50 shared residence. He was more than happy to work through this with his ex. but it was not to be.
As you quite rightly say, some dads have to go through the Courts at enormous costs. Those who are offered plenty of contact from a willing and co-operative ex. should take what is on offer and ensure that they do not disappoint or let their children down.
I can''t work my ex. dil out. My son is a good dad and the children love him and love being with him. His ex. just wants to find fault with him to the extent that she will invent fault where she cannot find it!.
Yes you are very true some people dont realise how damaging divorce is for children!
After many texts my ex has finally said he will have our son on sundays now..i may have to lose my main contact day with him but realise he needs his dad too!
I would be inclined to let him him know that you dont get to spend any quality time with your son and you would like to discuss with him the opportunity of changing the weekend arrangements.
Week 1: dad - weds after school till 7pm? Thurs after school till 7pm
Week 2: dad - weds after school till 7pm? Thurs after school till 7pm, friday after school till 6pm sunday.
Alternate xmas eve each year
alternate new years eve each year
half of all school holidays etc etc etc
you get the picture?
You are being very reasonable to him and trying to make sure he plays a large part in his sons life. If he refuses then you change it anyway. You would have given him a chance to discuss it and he refused. Court would only look at your reasonableness and him being uncooperative.
These proposals show that you are not being unreasonable. They are purely your suggestions to be mutually agreed with him but you do wish to spend quality time with your son at weekends. If it did go to court then there is no court in the land that will give him saturday and sunday contact every weekend.
There is no one arrangement that suits all families. A parent can''t be forced to care for a child if they don''t want to and pushing the issue tends to cause resistance so it''s counter productive. When parents don''t harbour resentment against the other parent children can have a quality relationship with a parent even if there are gaps in contact eg when a parent works in the armed services.
What really doesn''t work for children is separated parents being self-righteousness, resentful and/or engaging in high levels of ongoing conflict.