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Ex''s new house

  • Masha78
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28 May 12 #333514 by Masha78
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happyagain wrote:

Perhaps what others meant, but didn''t say explicitly, is that in the big scheme of things this is a minor point. Its certainly not anything that would give you grounds to frustrate contact.
Your ex-husband obviously has different standards to you. This is an issue that many of us face when we separate, however the reality is that if it considered good enough for him then it should also be good enough for the children. They are in his care when they are with him, and if he thinks it is OK then I''m afraid it really is little to do with you unless there is a serious threat to their wellbeing (and I don''t think there is here)


happyagain, you got right to the point: does it mean that whatever one parent regard as normal - there''s nothing the other one can do about it?

and similarly it mean that in the meantime of one parent''s care the other one should pretend that he or she hasn''t got children at all...

but all that, I guess, far too highly pathetical, as to the practicalities: does that issue really go as a MINOR one? if so.....

PS: my ex cleaned the house, or so he says (I''m really not going around his place checking it out, as some suggested;)). but no, the windows are still black and mouldy - he couldn''t get rid of that (in case he has really tried at all:unsure: )

  • Emma8485
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28 May 12 #333521 by Emma8485
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Masha, Happy was right about perspective, in terms of parenting, my ex is very different to me, he only washes the bedclothes half the times that I would, he doesnt wash their clothes at all he sends them back dirty, and he feeds them an awful lot of Mcdonalds because the man just simply cannot cook - however my kids come back happy from seeing their dad, and thats whats of paramount importance to me. They have a good time, and I dont doubt for one second that they love him - we have no court order, a private agreement for contact, and bar a few mishaps it works better than I thought it would.

Of course if your ex was neglecting the kids, or the floors were covered in muck, or the roof was caving in, these would be things that I would raise yes, but I think you have to choose what you raise carefully so as not to be percieved as wanting to argue all the time.

I dont sweat the small stuff with my ex now, its not worth it. It depends on your circumstances and perspective as to whether you personally feel this is a major issue or not.

take care

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