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Handovers of the Children

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30 May 12 #334037 by BoysMum
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When your partner had the 1st Contact Order for 3 nights every other week, were you on the scene then?

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30 May 12 #334038 by Smith1977
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Yes, as the overnights started when she was 8 months old. He had visiting contact before that from 1st Directions hearing then took a couple more months to get Interim Contact with overnights sorted before Residency hearing. We weren''t living together at that point though but I would often be there and initially would meet them for a day out or lunch etc. Within a couple of months I was pretty much always around.

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30 May 12 #334040 by Smith1977
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For information they now reside with their Father every other Friday lunchtime to Monday 9am, visiting contact every Thursday lunchtie
18:00 and half of all school holidays, bank holidays, teacher training days, fathers day, cousins birthdays, grandparents birthdays, alternate christmas. He hopes to change the visiting contact to overnight and increase this to 2 nights on the week he doesn''t have them for the weekend once they are both at school. Hopefully via mediation not the courts!

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30 May 12 #334041 by BoysMum
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Has Mum got a point, stating that your partner has taken on too much? If you were no longer in the picture, how would he work contact? Would he actually be able to pick up the girls at the allocated times?

I am just trying to see this from all sides. Is Mum trying to create a block, or could your partner actually collect the girls at the allocated times if you and he were not together?

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30 May 12 #334042 by Smith1977
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He can do the majority as agreed for flexible working on these times so long as doesn''t impact on clients. He has 45 days holiay a year plus bank holidays so generally not a problem. It will always be the case that parents will need support at different times though. His sister also works term time only and has children so during holidays she is also on hand.

I think it is more about trying to make things difficult as there is always a reason to make handovers hard e.g. change location at last minute, is often up to half an hour late for bring youngest to meet him at nursery without warning etc. etc. She also has refused to swap weekends even when given weeks notice so girls could attend family wedding.

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30 May 12 #334044 by C. J.
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I''ve been with my fiance for almost 3 years and have known his children for over 2 years now. I first met them when they turned 3 and it was because they were so young that we instantly formed a friendship and I was just considered their adult play mate. Our friendship has gone from strength to strength over time, even when we had gaps where we didn''t see them due to the ex breaching the contact orders.

The ex once admitted to me that she found the breakup with my fiance an emotionally draining one and for the 1st year or so she tried everything in her power to try and split us up and used the children as pawns in doing so. She was hurting and I accepted this, however wrong her actions were.

Now it''s evident she''s moving on its like the sadness has turned to hate and she just enjoys making my fiance as miserable as possible by constantly frustrating his contact with the children.

We''ve been to hell and back with my fiance''s ex...still are in fact but the one thing she has never done is kicked up a fuss about me collecting the children. I think I''ve only done it 5 times in over 2 years just to help my fiance out.

Everyone reacts to things differently though.

Is the ex in a relationship herself?

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30 May 12 #334045 by Smith1977
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She isn''t in a relationship that we are aware of but as communication is so poor its possible we wouldn''t even know.

Sounds like you guys have been through it as well. It''s true that forming a friendship is natural with children of young ages and they are just happy to have lots of caring people around them.

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