Hi everyone, this is my first time on.
My soon to be ex wife has just informed my friend via email that she has withdrawn contact between my 6 yr old son & me. We have 50/50 custody of him, but our divorce has been incredibly bitter. 2 weeks ago I found damning evidence of her having an affair last year. I informed the guy''s partner & it''s caused a lot of trouble between the 3 of them. I''ve always been our son''s ''main carer'', working around the school run etc..
She says she''s taken advice from IDAS & the police, but gives no indication of what reason''s she''s given them. I''m devastated by this. What can I do?
When there is genuinely shared residence 50:50 you can apply to court as an emergency for the status quo to be restored on the basis that a unilateral decision has been made to change the established arrangement. If it was allowed to continue there would disrupt the child''s sense of security and established bonds so it would be confusing to the child to change it back later.
Evidence of 50:50 shared care might be a court order or the Statement of Arrangements. If 50:50 shared residence had been agreed in the Statement of Arrangements there would need to good cause shown that this was no longer satisfactory to justify changing the status quo.
It does depend on whether an order is in force, if it is then to withold contact is a breach of that orde rI would assume.
However, if its the case that shes just wound up about you spilling the beans to someones partner about an affair, then she may have said it in anger, may calm down, may do any number of things. The persons partner must be absolutley crushed by what you told them so I imagine it would have caused trouble between them all which has probably impacted on your ex.
One thing I hated during my divorce was well meaning friends who tried to tell me what my ex said as it invariably got exaggerated or embellished so i stopped listening. They may have done it out of concern but I dont personally think it helps.
When the reality is shared care 50:50 and well established it doesn''t really matter whether or not there is a court order or not. If the issue can''t be resolved and the arrangement reinstated quickly it''s important to get in front of a judge before a new status quo is set.