Hi, I''m new on here but would appreciate your thoughts on this.
We''ve been separated 4 years divorced for 3, my Ex has been with new partner and her child 3 years and they live together in house owned by her.
Both of them are heavy drinkers and from my own marital experience my ex can turn violent and extremely abusive when drunk.
Our kids spend alternate weekends with their father and his partner. However the kids ( girl 11 and boy 8) inform me they are splitting up, and no longer share a bedroom so when they last stayed their father and they had to share a double bed in the spare room for 3 nights and the children witnessed various rows and arguments during the weekend when his partner returned from the pub.
I have told my ex that I don''t feel it is appropriate for the children to be in this environment, therefore I have said I won''t stop them from seeing him but I do not want them staying over, he can pick them up and have them during the day by himself and then bring them back in the evening sat/sun of his weekend (he lives 5 miles away and has his own transport) He apparently is looking for somewhere else to live, so once this is sorted I have no problem with us going beck to the previous arrangement.
I don''t think I''m being unreasonable in this but I would appreciate some feedback
I would be doing the same thing, its bad enough they have to go through it in the first instance with both of you but to allow them to go through it again would in my opinion be unfair.
My stbx is still not allowed to take our daughter to th ow''s house (he doesn''t live there)as they are off and on more times than the office kettle.
Once he is sorted then the overnight stays can resume I''m sure your children can do without it and will appreciate you stepping in.