I am wondering if there is anybody that could help me. My ex girlfriend has bipolar and has always suffered depression and has admitted in her statement that she finds it difficult to cope. She lied to the court about domestic violence and i recieved a non molestation order on just hear say. i couldnt get legal aid so made the application for contact myself and after a few hard months without seeing my little girl i got to court and was given supervised contact of two hours a week (which took a further month to arrange) I had 6 weeks of contact which went very well with me and my daughter. Then i recieved more false allegations that i am mentally abusing my daughter in the contact centre and other rediculous lies. then i got a letter to say daughter couldnt make it because of a holiday, then the week after i recieved a letter saying my ex has taken my daughter 200 miles away to live elsewhere (i know county but not address) my exs oldest daughter has been left behind with her grandparents i have now not seen my daughter for two months and are awaiting an emergency court hearing. My ex is mentally unstable and the person she is staying with is bad news. my daughter is being affected in a bad way by her mothers actions and i would put money on that the accomodation is not suitable. I had a good report from CAFCASS but my ex missed two appointments with them and now moved without giving her address so they are unable to make report on her. I want to go for sole residence but i know i can give my daughter a far better upbringing and stability. I am getting walked over in court because i have no idea what i am doing. please can anybody give me and advice from experience that you think could help me?
The courts aren''t looking for the better parent, just that the parenting is "good enough" and children are surviving satisfactorily. Is there any professional (social work, GP, police) evidence your daughter is in a bad way? Please don''t give too much detail that could identify the child.
i have no evidence that my daughter is in a bad way at the momment because i dont know where she is and have only seen her a handfull of times over the last 9 months but like i said my ex is mentally unstable and is breaching the contact order with her erratic behaviour. i just want to know where i stand in the eyes of the court. If checks were done then im sure the courts would see that she is not coping but because she has run away these checks cant be made
You must be very worried. Are there existing proceedings ongoing and have you applied for a hearing or been in contact with CAFCASS? The courts should be able to trace your ex-partner and the case maybe transferred to the courts and CAFCASS near to where your daughter currently lives and/or the court could involve social services.
If the authorities find evidence your daughter isn''t surviving satisfactorily the harm or risk of harm will be weighed up against the harm she is likely to suffer if she is taken away from her main carer. That includes the strengths of her attachment and any measures that might be put in place. Measures that could be put in place might be the mother taking medication to control her illness or arrangements for someone to care for your child when she is unwell.
When the risks of harm outweigh the strengths someone''s parenting may not be assessed as "good enough" and a change of living arrangements deemed appropriate.
i have applied for an emergency hearing and have been given one for friday. i have paid for a solicitor and also a barrister to attend and to get the case transfered to where she is living. i have cut my hours at work so am applying for legal aid (but takes six weeks) i have called police and social services for a welfare check but they say because i havnt got an address they cannot do anything. i hope after friday something is done to make sure my daughter is safe. CAFCASS come to interview me two weeks ago, he gave me a good report but my ex did not stay at home for the appointments made and have not forwarded an address so cafass in my area cannot help with this matter anymore or make reports on her. me and my daughter were so close. i hate the system, i wish someone would investigate this case propery.
Do you have evidence that your ex is unstable. Having bipolar does not in itself pose a problem if managed properly. My own mother had it, raised children, had a happy marriage and worked in stressful jobs all her adult life. she was and still is a very capable mother.
My ex on the other hand has called me mental since our split and ranted on about my mothers condition on facebook to prove his point.