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My house and kids or What?

  • santelm
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13 Jun 12 #336461 by santelm
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Hi,, I have recently left my jointly owned home leaving my wife and two young children in the house , because my wife says she no longer loves me and we needed a break from each other..I still pay the mortgage and for the girls.I am staying with my father who lives just around the corner from our house.. Things have escalalated and she has a boyfriend who stops over sometimes so we are going to divorce.. When it is my turn to have the children it isnt really suitable for them to stay at my fathers house and they miss their own beds,pets and toys etc... My wife flatly refuses to let me have the house for the weekends that I have the girls..She could easily stay somewhere else and in fact she usually isnt there anyway!.. I feel it is half my house and that I should have equal rights to come and go within reason to see the girls or if I just wish to spend some time in my own home.This drives her wild and she has started to ring the Police whenever I call, in an attempt I assume, to try and build up some kind of case against me which might help her in Court later over the financial split and custody of the girls.We had agreed verbally upon Shared Residence for the children when the Divorce is sorted out but I feel she is now changing her mind on this because she has heard it could be detrimental to her financial case..
What is the legal position please on my vsiting my house and girls,we are both on the Deeds?

  • hawaythelads
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13 Jun 12 #336469 by hawaythelads
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You are somewhat knackered.
She tells the police she feels harrassed and threatened by you.She then applies for an occupancy order on the house and non molestation order against you.
The police and law run with it every time because blokes end up killing the ex wives and kids etc in high profile cases.
They can''t take the chance.
You are somewhat beggared if the ex misus uses these tactics.
Softly Softly and remember you like eating shxt sandwiches is the best approach.
All the best
Pete x

  • hollytree
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13 Jun 12 #336501 by hollytree
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  • santelm
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13 Jun 12 #336502 by santelm
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Jeez!... what sort of a country is this turning into!!?. It''s full of cheats and liars which is a real smack in the mouth when you consider this particular one is/was my wife and is still the mother of my kids..God help all men... thanks (Ithink!:angry:)

  • jslgb
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13 Jun 12 #336503 by jslgb
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I would imagine both of these situations will become extremely confusing for your children in the long run! I too let my ex spend time with my daughter in my home to begin with but we quickly decided it wouldnt work. As for me spending the night elsewhere whilst he visited i never have and never would agree to it. My daughter settled quite quickly once she was able to associate mummy''s home and daddy''s home and i personally feel this is the best way to handle it when children are involved. They dont see the shades of grey involved in break ups so you need to make things black and white for them.

In addition to this, at some point down the line when relationships progress it isnt really going to be a viable situation. I think its best to set boundaries early on.

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13 Jun 12 #336505 by hollytree
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Sorry...did my post upset you? I hope not! It''s just when you say god help all men...I should have said he has had pretty unlimited contact at weekends as we furnished his flat to make sure it was suitable. He will also be taking him on holiday over the summer, and drops contact when it doesn''t suit and I have never complained!

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13 Jun 12 #336506 by hollytree
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Thank you. This is a very helpful way of thinking about it and is what I am trying to get across to my ex. He has said I cannot stop him having access to the house and that to force my son out of his home on a Monday is me being an unreasonable parent!! He has also warned me "not to push it".

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