Some of you will know my very long journey through the courts and the endless court hearings/orders made regarding contact; now into its 3rd year. Today the children were returned nearly an hour late with no explanantion given from my ex. What concerns me is that the children become over anxious and distressed when this situation arises. They know the times they are expected to be home. Today was an additional contact day and the order only made in court not 10 days ago. It seems that my ex appears in court; paints me black tell lies and then has total disregard and respect for any order made when each time the matter is returned to court; it is him who requests it. Any advice greatly received.
I cant offer any advice, only sympathy. My stbxh has done this on a number of occasions and refused to answer the phone when i ring repeatedly! His latest excuse was he was stuck in traffic and couldnt answer the phone whilst driving!! Stbxh ALWAYS answers the phone whilst driving, and when he knows its me he generally gives it to my daughter to answer so i can understand your panic.
My solicitor sent a polite letter to say this wasnt acceptable and it hasnt happened since but i think for my stbxh its all about playing games. If he isnt happy he plays these games which involve turning up early.late, not paying csa etc etc so i just rise above it now.
As frustrating as it is, when he doesnt get a response he quickly realises he isnt getting anywhere with it!!
Rise above it.
I dont have this problem as my child is an adult but my best friend does.
Her controlling ex so likes to keep her on her toes.
She will request the children back at 6pm for example and you can bet your life they''ll be late.
It''s all about control.
We had a situation a few weeks ago. We were going for our monthly night out and her ex was seeing kids that day.
Friend had asked for kids back at 6pm and said in an email "because I''m going out and I''d like to spend an hour with them before I do"...her mistake.
So, at 6pm we''re waiting for the kids, it was a no show.
At 6.30pm my friends bf received a text from the ex (ex doesnt have friends mobile due to past harrassment) saying they were in a restaurant and had just ordered the food.
Friends bf text back "leave them with XXX who is babysitting, xxx(my mate) is going out tonight". Then mates bf gets a text back saying "kids will be home in 5 minutes". How peculiar that they had managed to eat a meal, pay and drive 5 miles in 5 minutes!!
The moral of the story is to rise above it.
My friends ex realised that it wouldnt scupper her night out playing games so there was no point in doing it.
Set yourself a time limit. For example: half an hour late text / call him to see where they are. An hour late do the same again. If no response then call the police.
My friend is now able to let it wash over her but it''s taken a lot of years.
Good luck and I hope I''ve been some help to you.