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School Move

  • Confuzzled
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20 Jun 12 #337869 by Confuzzled
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I have 50/50-shared residence with ex, I’ve recently bought a house and have been commuting my sons to school from here. It is further away from our old house so it takes a bit longer to get to school in the mornings and I have to get my sons up earlier to get to school on time. I was thinking of relocating them to a school nearer our new house in September so they can get up at a reasonable time and have friends in the area. My problem is the ex will then have to get them up earlier to take them to school over this way as he is still local to my old house and my sons will be no better off really as we do 50/50 school drop off and pick ups except that they will then make friends locally as they have slightly more time with me in the holidays and at our new house.

What kind of proposals can I make to ex to encourage him to accept a school move. It will impact on his time particularly on handover day as he will pick boys up from school, take them to his and then have to bring them back over this way so spending 60/80 minutes travelling back and forth. We are not exactly on good communication terms. We have a court order in place because we just cannot agree on anything and it has been working so I don''t want to change that really although we did agree to share the child benefit claiming for one child each so I think I need his permission to move our youngest son or do I?

  • MrsMathsisfun
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20 Jun 12 #337891 by MrsMathsisfun
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Hi and welcome to wiki.

I am assuming your ex is on the birth certificate and therefore has PR. I thought I read on a recent post that both parents have to agree to a move of schools, but I am not sure?

  • ozzywiz
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21 Jun 12 #338177 by ozzywiz
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I could be wrong as just learning myself but I understood that anyone with PR can move the childrens schools without the others permission . .

  • jslgb
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21 Jun 12 #338183 by jslgb
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My stbxh had nothing to do with his eldest daughters change of schools. In fact, he didnt even know until she mentioned it to him. He has PR.

However, i dont necessarily think it would be in your kids best interests to move their schools. My daughters school isnt too far away but none of the local children go there, but she still has friends close to home. In fact one of her best friends lives directly over the road and goes to a different school.

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21 Jun 12 #338185 by maisymoos
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Not really sure there is a good reason to move schools if care is 50/50? All it appears to do will shift the burden of transport from one to another and doesn''t really gain anything. Why would your ex agree to a change that is basically going to make his life more difficult?

Are your children currently happy at school?

Was there any reason you moved that far away from existing school?

  • Confuzzled
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21 Jun 12 #338221 by Confuzzled
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Yes the boys are happy at school, they have lots of friends and are doing well but they will do well in any school. I would rather not be the one dragging my sons out of bed at 6.30 to make sure they''re at school on time. There is a very good school locally and most of the children around here go there. Ok, so I chose to move as I didn''t want my ex to be on the doorstep and I wanted a life away from all the hassles that have gone on and to make a fresh start. I want the boys to have a life here, go to after school clubs and set down roots. It''s only 40 minutes away, not like it''s the end of the world. What I was hoping for was suggestions and proposals so that it didn''t impact on my ex''s time with the boys.

  • happyagain
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21 Jun 12 #338223 by happyagain
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I''m sorry confuzzled, I''m not sure there is a way you can sell this to your ex. What you are essentially saying is that you don''t want to be getting them up early and driving a long distance; you also don''t want them to attend a school far away from your current property. But by moving them, that is exactly what you are expecting your ex to accept. In his favour is the fact that the children are settled in the school they are in now and have established friends.
Whereas some of the other posters have suggested that it is OK to move schools without the other parents consent I really don''t think you could get away with it. It is morally wrong anyway - OK, lots of people do it (including my husbands ex) but it doesn''t mean it is right and the law states that those with parental responsibility should be allowed to be involved in all decisions to do with a child''s educational welfare.

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