Should I cancel my final hearing?

Had a meeting with a McKensie today regards my final hearing in september.

Was supposed to be preparing questions for the cross examination etc but instead he told me to go away and try to reach an agreement with the mother.Thinks I might not get any more contact in court as what I have is normal for a 29month boy if not even slightly high even if its less than what I had before.Its every other weekend plus 2.5 hours every wed afternoon.
He hasnt ruled out contact being increased.

Its possible I could reach an agreement for more contact with her but it won''t be a contact order so therefore it will be subject to the frequent cancellations I had before and which forced me to go to court.
I will once again be under her thumb.

If she gives more contact and we also keep the contact order then at least I have that to fall back on but she will only give more if I vacate the hearing.

I''m confused and even more disillusioned.
Not sure which way to go.
The reality is had I not taken her to court in the first place I would have had double the contact Ive had since November and will have double if I cease court action.

I think I need to try and reach an agreement with her thats if she will even talk?

Personally I wouldn''t. Several months down the line you could be in the same situation all over again. You are taking her at her word, do you think she will keep it?

Then you will be left with the what if??? question.

Your contact doesn''t sound that much. Do you not get any full weeks in holiday times, I know your son is not of school age yet but do other wikis think this should make a difference?

Do you think you will be able to agree to increase contact in the future without a Consent Order. Is it the age of the child which is making the ex reluctant to agree more contact?

If you dont think you will ever be able to agree contact then keep going. I think you need to set out a contact schedule, eg by the age of 5 the child to spend x number of weeks holiday with father etc.

Its nothing to do with his age.Its everything to do with the control issue and not having to give in to me through the courts.

At mediation before the second hearing she said she would be prepared to let me see him more but she wasnt prepared to put that in a contact order thus giving her all important control.

I took a chance and rang her a little earlier.She didnt hang up.I asked her to meet and she loved telling me she will think about it and get back to me in a few days.It takes a minute to decide yes or no.

The reality is I could maybe get the kind of contact through sucking up to her now that would take me a long time to get through the courts.
I''m not in the position like some who have no choice but to go to court.I have a choice but its a case of do I want to be under her thumb for the next few years.

I think from what you have just said you need some sort of formal contact set up. There is little trust between you and this is where amicable negiotiations fail. Think about it, why does she want to avoid court?? perhaps she realises you will get more contact than you already have!!! She is trying to bribe you and that makes me feel instantly uncomfortable.

Its not her whos thinking of avoiding court its me.
Basically as I''ve said there may be little reason for going to the final hearing as it seems I may not get much of an increase to my current contact order.

It may be better for me to drop the whole court thing and try to get things on a more amicable level with my ex in order to get decent contact.

Joe - I feel for you mate.
If I had not gone to court I would still be blackmailed, she''d still be in control, etc, but I''d have my kids living with me more which is the all important thing. My problem is now that I am punished for taking her to court in the first place - and all that achieved was get me less time (although it''s formalised).

In my opinion you should see it through now and as your son gets older you can always try to get more time.

Good luck.