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Ex wife moving my children away

  • Cassie24
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24 Jun 12 #338709 by Cassie24
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My ex wife has now made the unilateral decision to move my 2 children (now 11 and 9) 200 miles away to Plymouth. She (and her family) have bribed them by saying that they will buy them a new dog when they move and also that they will buy a caravan so that I can stay in it when I visit!

My eldest is also attending a transfer day in her new school tomorrow! I have informed her that I am going to put a Prohibitive Steps Order in place yet she derides this and said she will move anyway. As she totally ignores the court order already in place I can quite believe this. In her words, "I gave up all my rights to be a father when I left 6 years ago."

What can I do? She seems to be able to do what she likes!

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24 Jun 12 #338737 by happyagain
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What are the reasons behind the move to Plymouth? What support will be available to your ex if she moves there?
The idea itself may be accepted by a judge but only if she can show that she will be supported and that it is in the best interests of the children. She would also be expected to show how she will promote contact if she is the one moving away. I don''t really think putting you in a caravan, like a lodger on her terms, would be considered reasonable.

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24 Jun 12 #338743 by Cassie24
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Hi

Her reasons are that she can get a bigger house and be near her mum when really it is to get back at me for leaving her. She is also under extreme pressure from her mum.

If you see my previous thread, I do have a contact order in place which she has ignored since day one. Thus, the prospect of me having very little, if any, contact with my children, is very real!

I provide financially over and above what I legally need to and have offered her at least £125 000 of our £135 000 equity we have from our house which she says is not enough!

She is also messing with my children''s heads. for example, as a result of numerous appeals, my daughter has now gained places at 5 separate secondary schools, including being put through two arduous 11 plus exams.

If she moves away then I sincerely fear that I will never have a relationship with my children again.

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24 Jun 12 #338757 by happyagain
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I''ve just looked at your previous posts and I can see this is a worrying situation. Did you actually do anything about the harassment and the breach of the order that you described in your previous posts?
I would echo something that was said in this previous thread - you need to harden up. Currently your ex is breaking your contact order regularly and nothing is being done about it. You provide additional money - why?! And you are offering her a bigger share of the equity so that she can comfortably rehouse in another area. I am telling you this - she is walking all over you because she can. You endure the phone calls, accept the crumbs of contact, allow her to deride your partner, give her more money and she gets away with this because she is being allowed to. We have also been on the receiving end of this kind of behaviour but a few stern letters from a solicitor, and a warning that there was to be no contact on the threat of a harassment warning and it soon stoppped.
You may well be granted a PSO as they are more frequently given in cases where there is a history of frustrated contact, and it could be argued that the move is simply another tactic to thwart contact. But you will have to act quick. And toughen up (Sorry, I don''t wish to appear harsh but you really do have to toughen up for your kids sake)

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24 Jun 12 #338768 by Cassie24
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Thank you. I appreciate your response, I have the prohibited steps order form and submitting it the courts tomorrow. I have mentioned the breach of contact order as one of my reasons for applying and I trust they will see this as a good enough reason to grant the order to prevent her from moving.

Just to add, the reason for offering her the majority of the equity, was to enable her to buy a suitable home for the children, near to where they live now. Which she declined.

I will keep you posted.

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24 Jun 12 #338794 by happyagain
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I understand why you did it, because you wanted to do the right thing by your children. Unfortunately your ex seems to hate you more than she loves her children, which means she will not put them first.

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25 Jun 12 #339049 by Cassie24
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Hi, I submitted my C100 prohibited steps order to court this morning and feel completely and utterly despondent. Fortunately after submitting the papers I was able to meet with a judge straight away.

However, he pretty much told me that there is almost zero chance that I would be able to stop my ex from moving. A case has been raised and I have been given documents to serve to my ex and a court date set for next week.

I expressed my issues with regard to the non compliance of the current contact order and he just said that he could not discuss it as it was a separate issue.

I feel like giving up but my current partner is encouraging me to ''keep at it''. I''m not sure as to the protocol behind the court hearing next week but of course I will want to bring to their attention the issues regarding the current contact order.

My new partner is hoping that if my application is declined, then I can ask what will be put in place to ensure contact with my children to maintain a relationship with them. I am at a loss how they can come to an agreement if she cannot comply with the current contact order when I live half an hour away.

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