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having daughters to stay over

  • craig777
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25 Jun 12 #339062 by craig777
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hi. i''ve been seperated from my wife for approx. 6 months and a couple of days ago when my wife was having a bad mood day she told me "i will never have my children to stay with me overnight and never be able to take my children on holiday in the future. they''re always going to be with her no matter what." is this something that a father has to accept?

  • wmorris2
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25 Jun 12 #339065 by wmorris2
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No, Court would be the only other option.

I guess.. Good thing for us the law is changing soon to force parents to have a part in their child''s life ( the court has to get involved)

Which I hope means I will see my children again - You will be able to say to your wife " Well it''s the law now so lump it" or something similar if you have to.

In the mean time - she might, just might, grow up? Always worth wishing!

  • BoysMum
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25 Jun 12 #339078 by BoysMum
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Hi

How old are your children?

What reason is your ex giving for this?

  • Bobbinalong
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25 Jun 12 #339094 by Bobbinalong
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craig, keep your nose clean when you are there, unless there is something we dont know about, no reason on this earth you cant have your kids stay over.
Next time she says that, just smile.
Then download the c100, dont discuss it, just get it in, rep your self, I did, best thing I ever did, period.
The law will give you what you ask for with reason, have faith, it does work, diary, diary diary, you cant put forward a case without info, the more info the more her side will wallow and falter, (I''m not religious! just passionate about people like you getting what you deserve as long as you deserve it) :)

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25 Jun 12 #339095 by craig777
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BoysMum wrote:

Hi

How old are your children?

What reason is your ex giving for this?


6 and 8.

There is no reason, apart from her trying to stamp her authority on me and punish me for ending the marriage. I''m more than capable of taking good care of my children, so that''s no issue. I''d have them at my parents house where I''m staying at present, also, the children have been looked after by my parents 3 times a week since they were babies, so there''s no issue there either in terms of being well looked after and safe.

I must add that i''ve been seeing my children numerous times a week at the matrimonal home since the break up and my wife and I have been getting on fairly well under the circumstances. She hasn''t tried to stop me from going back to the house to see them.

  • BoysMum
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25 Jun 12 #339099 by BoysMum
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Craig,

Maybe before considering issuing court proceedings, and firm letter from your solicitor requesting that contact resumes with immediate effect may work? You have a 6 month history of good and regular contact. The last thing you need is for a new status quo to be established. You could also request in the letter, that you both attend mediation.

You sound very passionate about your children :)

You may find that receiving a letter from your solicitor may give her a short sharp shock, and will give her a reality check that she cannot block contact without good reason.

Keep posting, it will be good to hear how you get on.

  • PetalsInTheWind
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25 Jun 12 #339103 by PetalsInTheWind
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Craig,
It looks to me as if your wife was speaking in anger and that she was having some sort of reaction which is more to do with you ending the marriage than the kids.
If you have been managing to sort contact out before now without court I would caution that getting solicitors and court involved might result in creating a bigger problem. It may be better to view the marriage break up and the children as two separate but very closely ingterlinked areas. If your wife erupted like that she was probably feeling emotional about the break up but it came out as being about the kids. Perhaps acknowledging that for yourself and possibly to her (in an understanding but not condescending manner) might diffuse things. It sounds like you both love your kids and sometimes dialogue works best for them. Have a read of the Co-operative parenting consultation. The link is at the top of the forum. Working together for the sake of the kids is the best option if you have it available to you.
Good luck. Hopefully you will get to the same position for the sake of the kids.

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