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now ex wants to change my sons surname???

  • sleepybird
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25 Jun 12 #339142 by sleepybird
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Hello

I have posted on here quite a few times reagrding my partners awful ex and the court case he had to go through to get contact.

I am now back as she has now thrown another spanner in the works

She recently married a man she has known less than a year and has emailed my partner and asked his permission to change sons surname.

At present sons surname is double barrelled with hers first and my partners second, she is suggesting that she change his name so that her new married name(her husbands name) is first and my partners is second so his son will have a double barrelled name of his stepfathers and real fathers.

Obviously she will drop my partners surname if she gets what she wants and he will just be known as the stepfathers name on anything other than his birth certificate,

My question is can she do this? my partner has a court order stating that son is not to be known by any other name but she said she is going to apply to the courts for the name change.

My partner is beside himself as he has fought so hard for contact and shes still trying to push him out anyway she can. hes also concerned for his son as she has told son to call this man ''step daddy'' within 6 months of knowing him and has said that she has asked son and he wants his name changed (hes 4 years old)

Any advice welcome

When will this nightmare end!!!
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  • zonked
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25 Jun 12 #339144 by zonked
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I think the first thing to do is to tell your ptr not to worry. The court''s are very unlikely to agree a name change.

I''d suggest a couple of things:

Polite letter to ex saying that he feels his son''s name is an intrinsic part of his identity and it would be damaging and de-stabilising to make a change. Therefore he is not able to agree.

Letter to school explaining that sadly there is a dispute between the parents regarding the name. That the child''s legal name is x and that it is unlawful for him to be known by any other name (include the court order).
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  • wmorris2
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25 Jun 12 #339156 by wmorris2
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vicky764 wrote:

Hello

I have posted on here quite a few times reagrding my partners awful ex and the court case he had to go through to get contact.

I am now back as she has now thrown another spanner in the works

She recently married a man she has known less than a year and has emailed my partner and asked his permission to change sons surname.

At present sons surname is double barrelled with hers first and my partners second, she is suggesting that she change his name so that her new married name(her husbands name) is first and my partners is second so his son will have a double barrelled name of his stepfathers and real fathers.

Obviously she will drop my partners surname if she gets what she wants and he will just be known as the stepfathers name on anything other than his birth certificate,

My question is can she do this? my partner has a court order stating that son is not to be known by any other name but she said she is going to apply to the courts for the name change.

My partner is beside himself as he has fought so hard for contact and shes still trying to push him out anyway she can. hes also concerned for his son as she has told son to call this man ''step daddy'' within 6 months of knowing him and has said that she has asked son and he wants his name changed (hes 4 years old)

Any advice welcome

When will this nightmare end!!!


Never!

It''s HIS son - not some idiot who wants to play "daddy"

Nothing wil be done unless he agrees in writing signed. Which if he has any balls he will NOT do.
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  • sleepybird
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25 Jun 12 #339162 by sleepybird
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thanks
Think were just confused as she wants to double barrell the names so dropping her Maiden Name and using her new married one aswell as my partners name. I just can''t see why a court would object to this.
It''s just another stab in the back for my partner as he knows full well that she''ll never use his part of the surname.
we just want his name kept as it is for sons sake aswell as for my partners sanity!!
she''s known him a year, it''s just unbelievable really!
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  • Emma8485
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25 Jun 12 #339167 by Emma8485
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Hi Vicky,
It really isnt relevant what her name is - its not like a swap system where if she gets married three times she can change the first part!

She will have to show the court why this would be in the childs interests, which of course its not - plus she has to apply, she may have been hoping hed just agree, so I would say - he writes to her saying absolutely not, your sons identity shouldnt be changed, and then wait for her to apply to court.

Its my undertsanding that the courts dont generally award these types of changes unless the other parents not around

xx
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  • jslgb
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25 Jun 12 #339168 by jslgb
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I dont think the court would grant a change of name without your parters permission. Unfortunately we live in a society where marriage isnt held in as a high regard as it used to be. What if this marriage doesnt work? Is she going to go back to court to change it back? And then if she remarries again to change it?? The child has his mums name and his dads name. Those are is parents, thats who he is stuck with for life!!

I saw a post on here somewhere about how schools arent allowed to change children''s names and they arent. They have to have written consent from both parents, but a letter to the school to reiterate your view point cant hurt.

I went through this with my stbxh and his first wife over their child. The child was upset because her mum had said when she got married the daughter would have a different name to everyone in the family. We explained to the child where her name came from and why she had it and that before i married her dad i had a different name and it didnt bother me because i knew they all loved me anyway. She hadnt realised i had a different name and was happy with the explanation. If you continue to refuse your partners ex will get bored and give in.
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  • Lostboy67
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26 Jun 12 #339172 by Lostboy67
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Hi
Its not acceptable that she has asked the child about this, at 4 years old there is no way the son could make an informed descision.
My sons were very clear of their name at age 4 and changing would have been very confusing.

LB
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