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Can ex withhold kids passports for money?

  • LosingBattle
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26 Jun 12 #339321 by LosingBattle
Topic started by LosingBattle
Hi all,

My parents have booked a gite for a week in France for themselves, me,my partner & my children. It''s a week in the summer holidays when it has been agreed I am having my children.

I informed my STB-Ex that I would need the children''s passports for this week.
She said that unless I pay half the money for a school trip (£360) then she is not going to give them to me. :angry:

Without going into too much boring detail, the bottom line is that I have said I don''t mind paying for half the trip, but on the condition that our 14 year old son bucks up his attitude, manners & most importantly his school grades. As it didn''t need paying for until after the results of his exams, I didn''t see that this was a problem. I also said that he could use some of his own money that he has been saving to contribute towards it as it would show him the value of money.

She said that it was unfair of me to impose terms & conditions like that & told me to forget about it & she would pay for the whole trip.

Now that she has bought a new puppy dog & a week''s holiday for herself she is clearly feeling the pinch. :angry:

I consider this demand to amount to nothing more than blackmail. I would like to know if there will be any legal recourse if she follows through with this demand?
Also, I am not willing to let my parents take the hit for an empty holiday rental, so we will probably go without the children.
Again, is there any legal recourse if I say that I am unable to have the children for the week agreed as I will be in France?

Thanks as always for any replies!! :)

  • happyagain
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26 Jun 12 #339324 by happyagain
Reply from happyagain
You can make an application to court. She will be told to hand them over to you. Or contact the passport office asking them to cancel the old ones and reissue new ones ( but this will cost money):(

  • Fiona
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26 Jun 12 #339325 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
When there is a contact order in force it''s possible to apply to court for compensation for financial loss suffered because of breach of the order. Alternatively, and regardless of whether or not there is a contact order, you can apply to court for a specific issue order for the passport to be hand over in good time before the holiday. Usually it takes six weeks or so to get a court appointment so you would need to also apply for abridged service.

  • fairylandtime
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26 Jun 12 #339326 by fairylandtime
Reply from fairylandtime
Actually I agree with you re your 14 yr old, mine used saved spending money for their trips & yes grades are a factor also.

However, your ex may find this difficult to police & ensure as it is not "her" but your "son" that is responsible for his grades & behaviour, behaviour is also difficult as if you are just starting with the divorce etc it will go down hill (inevitabley) for your son as he comes to terms with the divorce himself IMO if you are further down the line you have a point.

Obviously your ex does not share you thoughs & values on this, difficult as this is often the case.

I would write to you ex (or sols) letter in the first place, phaps you have to concede re the behaviour but stick to the grades? & if no response . Agreement then yes it is courts etc.

Hope it goes well


  • LosingBattle
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26 Jun 12 #339330 by LosingBattle
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Thanks to you all for your help & advice

It has been 3 years since we split & the divorce is still not near any end.
My 14 year old has come to terms with the split & him (& the other 2 kids) love my new partner.

I know that my STB-Ex does not give two hoots about his education & it is therefor left to me to try & give some motivation & reasoning as to why it is important for his future. She plays ''good cop'' & I am then made out to be the ''bad cop''!

She considers that she has ''done well for herself'' even though she is living in a house paid for by me & is receiving £1500 from me as well. She hasn''t done anything on her own merits to be able to live the lifestyle she does.
I''m tempted to say that as she very positively said that she would pay for it, to let her lie in the bed she has made for herself & let her pay for it.
I will put my half into his existing university fund account.
I refuse to give in to this demand. What next? My daughter wants a pony, so unless I pay for half then I can''t see them at Christmas??

If the court order comes in time, then great,if not then I will simply email her to say that unfortunately I am unable to have the children for the agreed week in summer as I will be in France & as they are not allowed to come with me she will have to have them for that week.

  • zonked
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26 Jun 12 #339339 by zonked
Reply from zonked
I think there are 3 things to consider

- the passports
- the contact/parenting time for the holiday
- a legal basis to remove, temporarily, your child from the UK.

It seems to me you need to complete a C100 and request a ''specific issues order'' for the exchange of the passport, a ''contact order'' for the holiday and other parenting time you want court ordered, permission from the court to take your child abroad (assuming you do not have a shared residence order).

  • sillywoman
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26 Jun 12 #339352 by sillywoman
Reply from sillywoman
Why not punish your son by not taking him to the holiday in France.

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