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my daughter caught in the middle

  • grafter
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28 Jun 12 #339646 by grafter
Topic started by grafter
Hi every one.
Trying to cut a long story short.
We were married for 24 years have 3 children.my main concern is regards to my daughtet who is 11.
I took my ex to court last year,after we seperated in april.which came completly out of nowhere,i belived us to be the perfect family.my ex had other ideas.anyway she met up with a man who I have heard lots of not nice things about.this is why I went to court.
I voiced and written my concerns to court.
And the process began.cafcas did some work,ie wishes and feelings report,which to be honest was a waste of time.i was origanlly granted joint res every other week.but the ex was still causing hassle,bringing my daughter into everything.so much s PO that in follow up case,in order to prevent this from happening I reduced my cintact.i sais openly in court I just wanted my daughter to be settled and kept out of it all.
Fast forward to now.and things have got a lot wose.my daughter is shown all adult conversation between me and her mam,told everthing about finances csa and divorce proceedings.ans last night I found text messages from my daughter and the other partner.some of them made me sick.i also know my daughter is alone a lot of the time at home while ex at work.and basically past from pillow to post.
My daughter used to cinfide in me til that confidence was broken,by being told all that was said in court.
I have seriouse misgivings abiut wat my daughter is hearing,she is a lovely child.whi is caught in a mess that she never asked to be.i should point out my daughterhears nothing from me.i wont drag her into it.
I have met a wonderful woman,and been tigether for 6 months..who my chilsren get on realy well with.
I have pleaded with my rx to keep our dsughter out of it but her replys are nasty cruel.she does not see the damage she is doing.
I cant get legal aid and am also going through divorce proceedings.
However I am willing to borrow money to get a solicitor and take it back to court.i csnt put a price in my daughters well being.
Any advice would be realy appreciated thankyou

  • Fiona
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28 Jun 12 #339663 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
Absolutely right children shouldn''t be put in the middle and good for you resisting temptation to tell your side of the story. Do you currently have contact with your daughter? Without giving details that might identify your children can you confirm what the current contact arrangements are and whether or not there are ongoing court proceedings.

  • jonathancj
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28 Jun 12 #339684 by jonathancj
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A solicitor would be greatly helped in advising you by being able to see any of these emails. If there is a risk that your ex is deeply hostile to you having an ongoing relationship with your daughter, you will need to act decisively as delay can put things beyond repair.

  • Emma8485
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28 Jun 12 #339792 by Emma8485
Reply from Emma8485
Youve said you have shared residence but reduced your contact - what has it been reduced to?

Are the concerns rumours or fact?

Has your daughter told you she is privy to all the information?

What are the arrangements for the other children?

With that information people may be able to advise you better

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