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Contact with son tomorrow pre-warning

  • BIGFOOT600
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29 Jun 12 #339858 by BIGFOOT600
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I am due to see my son tomorrow with assisted contact. Prior to this I have recieved a email through my solictor from the ex stating that my son is going to tell me he does not want to be with me and I guess I am to respect his answer because of being age 6 he is able to make his own mind up (according to email) I would very much like to not leave it that and to enjoy what I have planned but without causing my son to rebel in a way that he becomes stubborn and or maybe just walks in says what he has to say and walks out again. I feel that this is all influencual and that after this proposed contact.


The ex has the intention od moving further away in which means new school, doctors, social worker, solicitors, magistrates court, caffcas officer etc and any order atm is going to get frustrated again. we are due to see a CaffCas officer in between now and September for the benefit of our son. I have put in for a PSO and am just waiting for the decision but my solictors say I only have a slim chanve of being succesful. Any views would be greatly appreciated x

  • jslgb
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29 Jun 12 #339875 by jslgb
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By the sounds of it your son has been programmed to say this so that when it comes to CAFCASS becoming involved there will no longer be an established relationship and your son will think he doesnt want one.

My daughter is 5, she is aware that mummy and daddy dont get on, and she has witnessed her daddy be physically and verbally abusive towards mummy on numerous occasions. She knows that when she visits her daddy his new gf and her kids are always there, and that her daddy often leaves her in the gf''s care whilst he focuses on the other children. She knows that daddy doesnt make her food or drinks, ask about her week/school/friends etc and has come home on several occasions poorly as a result of contact and visited a&e straight after returning home on more than one occasion.

Does she want a relationship with her dad?
Of course she does.

She is 5 years old, she may not know why she has to love her dad but she knows she does love him. She also knows she gets very little off him in terms of a relationship but she is still excited to go. I imagine at some point if her dad doesnt build bridges to repair the relationship then she will begin to realise how little he is interested and decide herself not to see him, but i dont anticipate this to happen for a good few years yet. There is a limit on what age a child can decide whether to have a relationship with a NRP and there is a reason it is set at that age (not sure what age it is, around 12??)

How is your relationship with your son in general? Are you able to sit him down and ask him why he feels like this and what you can do to change his mind etc?

  • BIGFOOT600
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29 Jun 12 #339886 by BIGFOOT600
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Up until now my contact was supervised and I was restricted by the supervisor in what I was allowed to talk about by them respecting my ex''s wishes. So all I could do is watch and interact in playing with toys that were not appropriate to his age and had seen better days. I am hoping I can sit down and talk to him but may not get that chance and then from there when CAFFCAS get involved like you say it maybe to late

  • wmorris2
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29 Jun 12 #339896 by wmorris2
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6yr olds are not gillick competent. So don''t fret on that one!. If they were most of us would be in prison due to the accusations the sick evil mother programs into them.

When the new law comes out where the court will smack her arse (or even put her in prision for not playing ball) you can use it against her. The " Im untouchable because I am a mum" fantasy is shortly coming to an end!

And about feckin time!

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29 Jun 12 #339898 by BIGFOOT600
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Is there any information on the internet about this as I have heard comments on tv that things are due to change. Would be nice to see what might/will be happening and thanks for your response wmorris2

  • Lostboy67
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29 Jun 12 #339906 by Lostboy67
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Hi,
There is a consultation document from the government following Norgrove report. So as yet there is currently no change in the law.

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Advice...ng-Consultation.html

At 6 years old he doesn''t get a whole lot of say in the matter.

LB

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29 Jun 12 #339909 by wmorris2
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I am sure it''ll come into play. Theres too much evidence from research to deny it''s needed.

The only thing that might crop up is what they call the " probability" factor. After a case in the high court judges tend to base things on probability. So they might decide that it''s probably your sons wishes. But they might also say it''s carp (asn we would expect) but as I learnt when my ex injected her poison. Sometimes it smacks you in the face when it goes against you

But I am sure you will be fine. It''s my hope that your son has forgotten by the time he''s got there. You could take a camera and film him coming if you are on those terms. If she bends down to talk to him then you could say she''s telling him.

OR distract him as soon as he gets there then he might forget. :)

Shouldn''t have to but play the ***** at her own game!

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