My stbxh has just contacted me saying his step brother is getting married on such a date next year and can he either have my daughter overnight or have her the next day instead of the day he is supposed to have her which is the wedding.
My initial thought was, have i got this wrong? He either wants her overnight or wants her to miss the wedding?? So i replied asking him to verify and yes, that is exactly what he wants as he ''cant leave the wedding early to drop her off at 5''.
Im stunned. Is it just me??
Stbxh doesnt have overnight contact as there are welfare issues and he refuses to acknowledge my solicitors helpful suggestions to progress contact. Before i clarified what he meant i was going to reply: ''i wont agree to overnight contact as that isnt happening now and i dont want to commit to it but we can sort something out closer to the time so she doesnt miss the wedding.'' But he has now made it clear, either she stays overnight in a hotel with her dad, half sister, OW and her 2 boys (all in one room? or kids in separate? wouldnt surprise me) or no, sorry daughter, no wedding for you! Granted the step brother in question barely bothers with my child, no birthday/xmas pressies/cards ever but still. What a joke!!
I had to laugh reading this and I do apologize for it but this is ridiculous.
As I am always suspicious, I would think twice before granting him overnight stay, since he cannot have her overnight as things stand. If you do, out of the goodness of your heart, you might be setting a precedent of overnight stays, no matter the reason. That might come to haunt you in the future.
Since he doesn''t give you any other alternative and since his brother is not so much involved in your daughter''s life, I would reply to him that since overnight stays are a no no he is welcome to come and pick her up the next day.
I wouldnt have agreed to overnight contact anyway. I dont see us progressing to that any time soon and he''s mentioned he''ll be staying in a hotel and i dont think its appropriate that they either a) all 6 stay oin the same room or b) the children have their own room with no supervision.
It is not appropriate that they either sleep all together or the children alone. Not for a first overnight stay anyway and this in a hotel!
For him to go ahead with something like that would mean that he had your daughter for overnight stays for years and that she was used to the new family members and the fact that she is staying with them over the night without your presence.
Sometimes one has to wonder what people are thinking when they come with ideas like that.