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Parent with care need a contact order

  • yellowrosebud
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04 Jul 12 #341202 by yellowrosebud
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I was just wondering if I can apply for a contact order for my ex even though I am parent with care?

To cut a long story short the ex and I have been separated for 3 years and he has always had the children one night a week and every other weekend. He has now ( after divorce FH where I was awarded 100%equity of MFH) decided to move over 100 miles away.

He didn''t tell me this he left it to our 9 year old. " mummy, daddy is moving over 100 miles away in the morning and doesn''t know when he will see us again." this was 2 weeks ago.

I tried to talk with him and he has refused to talk. He now expects to turn up when ever he likes and take the children without letting me know where he is living, working or what his future plans are to have contact with the children.

The first week he was gone was horrid they cried the selfs to sleep and were so confused.

He turned up this evening demanded to take the children out as he was in the area. I questioned him of where he was living and how he wanted to sort out regular contact. I got a load of abuse so shut the front door, he then broke the door trying to gain entry to my home. I managed to push him out.

The children were so distressed that I felt I had to let them go with him.

Now I have a broken front door and the children still don''t know when they will see their dad again and I have no clue where he is living should he decide to have them over night.

The children have said he is renting a room in a shared house.

Can I get an order that states he must tell me where he is living and that accommodation will be suitable. I''m not sure how I feel about my 9 year old daughter staying in a house with other men she doesn''t know. Can the order have set contact dates? I don''t care if he doesn''t come, I want to know he can''t take them as an when he feels?

Any advice would be great.
Thanks

  • Lostboy67
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04 Jul 12 #341212 by Lostboy67
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As far as I am aware a contact order is for the NRP to have a set schedule when the RP will make the child(ren) available for contact.


LB

  • yellowrosebud
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04 Jul 12 #341213 by yellowrosebud
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That''s what I thought too but there must be something I can do to stop this happening. The children are once again distressed.

  • humdrum
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05 Jul 12 #341405 by humdrum
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My understanding is that either parent can apply to the court for a contact order if they want something that defines when and where contact will take place. In my case I moved out of the former marital home with the kids because stbx refused to move and the conflict was too much. I proposed a pattern for contact that stbx didn''t agree to. He then started takeing the children from their after school club and keeping them overnight. I applied to court for contact and residence order. It has taken over a year, but now sorted(fingers crossed. There will be a first hearing and an interim order to regulate matters until the full hearing completes.

If someone kicks your door in, you should call the police, even if it is your children''s father.

  • yellowrosebud
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05 Jul 12 #341410 by yellowrosebud
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I did call the police. I had no choice as this house is rented and I couldn''t afford to fix the upvc door.

Did you apply to the court yourself? I don''t have any funds at all so will have to self rep all the way.

  • Fiona
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05 Jul 12 #341412 by Fiona
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Irregular and inconsistent contact can be emotionally damaging to children as can witnessing outbursts of temper. Contact orders are for the benefit of children and either parent can apply to court to regulate contact.

  • humdrum
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05 Jul 12 #341414 by humdrum
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Hi there,
To apply to court download form C1. You will see that it is very easy to fill in. There is a box to explain why you are applying to the court and what you want to achieve. I would guess that you would fill this in saying that you wanted a contact order to provide defined contact as at present this is difficult ... explain all that you have here.

I can''t remember all the steps, but other people might be able to help here.
Your case seems quite clear, you are not denying contact, you want it regulated. It is clearly in the children''s interest for it to be regulated.

At the first hearing you will get help from the court welfare officers.

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