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Some advise please concerning uncooperative ex.

  • Chained
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05 Jul 12 #341361 by Chained
Topic started by Chained
Hello everyone.

I have been looking through the site for last few months, trying to find information regarding my partner''s case concerning contact with his three children. I found very useful information and also noticed the forum and the support it provides to people that go through difficult times.

We are in an ongoing battle concerning contact with my partner''s ex. First court hearing concerning the Contact Order is scheduled for the end on August. Meanwhile it came to my partner''s attention that she is planning to relocate with the three children to another European country because she met a man there.

My partner does not object to her moving there, as we are about to move ourselves in another European country, due to work and has also the means to finance his visits to the children, as well as their visits to him. But we have started getting really worried when she refuses to answer any of his requests to provide him with details about their relocation. All his e-mails and text messages have been met with silence.

We have contacted lawyers besides the one that is representing him and they all say the same thing: You need a contact order (Which he has a court date about), a PSO will not help you as you don''t object to the move per se and that she can actually not respond to him and move the children without his approval, written or otherwise.

As you can all understand we are worried sick about the children. When you are met with silence then you have every right to worry.

I need your experience and advise on the following: Would it be any good if my partner''s solicitor write his ex a letter asking the same questions or is it possible that this will be met with silence, too?

Will it cause any harm if I contact his ex''s new partner and plead him to ask her to respond to my partner''s e-mails, or will it damage his Contact Order case in any way?

Hope you can share some of your wisdom in this.

  • WhiteRose
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11 Jul 12 #342505 by WhiteRose
Reply from WhiteRose

  • jslgb
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11 Jul 12 #342513 by jslgb
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I dont necessarily have any experience that could help you but i would suggest you dont contact your partners ex. You mentioned it has been an ongoing battle so i think for you to step in would only anger her more and provide her more ammunition. In addition, repeated attempts to contact her could be viewed as harassment and open a whole can of worms there.

Do you know for sure if she is relocating and when? Would a court order in this country apply in another? Does your partner have PR? in which case he would have to give permission for his children to relocate, have you explored what would happen with regards to this?

Is it possible to contact the court, explain the situation and move the hearing up? Or even let them know you fear she might flee the country and so not show up to the hearing?

You said that a prohibitive steps order would not necessarily make a difference but could you apply for one in order to secure a contact order before she leaves?

I''m sorry if i''m not much help but hopefully i''ve given you some things to think about that may help!!

  • Fiona
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11 Jul 12 #342526 by Fiona
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Because the children habitually live in the UK it would be an offence for them to be relocated permanently to another country without the consent of all with PR or permission from the courts. If your partner doesn''t consent the ex should apply for a Specific Issue Order to get permission from the court.

A PSO is to prevent a something from happening. Although your partner doesn''t want to stop the move if there is a risk the won''t comply with the law and flee the country an application could be made to prevent the move until arrangements for contact and travel are in place. This might involve the making of mirror orders in the country where she is moving to. Once she has moved to another country and the children are settled there the courts in that country will have jurisdiction.

Unless there is an imminent flight risk a solicitor''s letter to explain the law and offering mediation as a way forward to negotiate arrangements could be useful and prompt the mother to seek her own legal advice.

The alternative would be to apply courts for contact in the country she is moving to when she is settled there. Whether that is a good idea or not depends on the country concerned.

  • Chained
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11 Jul 12 #342538 by Chained
Reply from Chained
Thank you, thank you all for your replies and the bump!! ;-)

I decided not to write to her for the reasons jslgb mentioned and I think I was wise to not do so. A day or so after I wrote this post came the reply from the ex saying that our solicitor will hear from her solicitor. We are now waiting to see what will this letter state.

Fiona, our solicitor and my partner have repeatedly informed her of the significance to get her own solicitor and forward all the letters, applications etc to them. She just lately got to do this, probably after my partner did not stop asking questions about the move.

We offered mediation, she refused and contacted our solicitor to say that she won´t attend. Then she contacts the Mediation office herself, after a month and writes to him asking for mediation. By that time he had applied cor a contact order. When she receives the court papers she writes again to our solicitor stating she won´t attend as now court papers have been filed (?). Meanwhile she refuses access to my partner and his parents because "she wants the backing of the courts (?)" before she would agree to the scheduled two week holiday this summer. As for the grandparents, she is too embarrassed to see them so no, they can´t come to see the children or her dropping them off to their house.

I just feel for these children that are treated like personal possessions that can be hidden in the wardrobes...

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