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Co parenting

  • blonde cazza
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08 Jul 12 #341884 by blonde cazza
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As many of you are aware my ex and i dont communicate over our children and the divorce.
This is not on my part but his he hasnt spoken since i asked for a divorce.
I did think it may get easier now our Absolute is through but no such luck as hes still not speaking through texts emails etc.
How do you try and have a co parenting relationship with someone who behaves likes this.Since we split he hasnt contacted the school to see how his child is doing or even told them of his new address to have reports sent etc.
Im concerned of the long term effects that it may have on our children as we have already got one poorly child.
Ive tried my hardest to say to him to think about how hes reacting but takes no notice.
He sees our son every weekend and does have the chance to see him mid week but refuses..
Does this behaviour ever change?

  • Fiona
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08 Jul 12 #341908 by Fiona
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All too often trying to push the other parent into something they don''t want to do causes resentment and resistance . Co-operative co-parenting is the gold standard but isn''t always achievable, or at least not all the time. Parallel parenting isn''t ideal but sometimes it is the lesser of the evils. See;

parentingafterdivorce.com/articles/parenting.html

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08 Jul 12 #341911 by blonde cazza
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Well im giving up on midweek contact because i assume he doesnt want it eventhough his solicitor asked for it.
Ive never seen anything like this though as before we split he was a good dad to him but now our lad returns home from contact saying hes angry.

  • khan72
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08 Jul 12 #341914 by khan72
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For the sake of your children, get both parents to go on a Parenting information programme. PIP. Its covers a lot of adult-adult issues and gives you an angle of impact upon the children. Both of you owe it to your children. Should be made compulsory in my opinion.

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08 Jul 12 #341928 by stepper
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My son did the parenting information programme. It was only one afternoon in his case, but he thought it was invaluable and it helped him to see that he had to keep all signs of conflict from his children and attempt some sort of communication with his ex. despite the bitterness which had gone before.

I am amazed how well he has risen to the challenge and has managed to put the majority of the issues behind him. He knows however that he will never be able to fully trust his ex. again but for the sake of the children that has to be a secondary consideration.

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08 Jul 12 #341932 by blonde cazza
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That would be a grand idea if he would go but have been unable to get him to attend mediation on matters as well.
I do wish he would see the effects this will have upon our children as they get older.I have a daghter who has bullemia and a son whos just turned 13

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