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  • autumn9
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08 Jul 12 #341994 by autumn9
Topic started by autumn9
Can anyone offer any expertise or advice in this area? Ex has decided to disclose to his children (aged 9 and 8) that he is now homesexual. Eldest finding this very difficult to come to terms with. Contact has been very difficult. Journey has been 3 years/ supported contact/contact centre contact/ S37/ S7/CAFCASS intervention/CAMHS still no overnights and now this for the children to deal with. Any advice will be greatly received.

  • Fiona
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08 Jul 12 #341996 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
I''ve sent a PM.

  • survive
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08 Jul 12 #342003 by survive
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(((( Autumn ))))

Sorry I can''t help with the advice, but am here to support to keep in touch

Survive xx

  • hattiedaw
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09 Jul 12 #342026 by hattiedaw
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Although I''m no expert I would like to offer what I did.
One of my very oldest male friends "came out" many, many years ago when my son was 4. This friend was my son''s favorite Uncle (in the Peter Kay sense, a very good friend of mums, not a real uncle...lol). My son used to go out for days / weekends etc with him and absolutely adored him and was used to seeing him with women.
When my friend came out as being gay I was very matter of fact with my son. I said "Uncle XXX has got a bf" my son said he should have a gf so I just said "nah, some people have bf''s and some people have gf''s". No big deal was made and my son accepted it.
Years and years on Uncle XXX has had the same partner for 15-odd years, is still my sons favorite uncle and woe betide anyone who makes homosexual jokes in my sons vicinity!
If a big deal isn''t made then it might ease the children into the situation without them thinking it''s strange or not right.

  • vivi36
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09 Jul 12 #342027 by vivi36
Reply from vivi36
I''m actually stumped!

There''s a part of me that says well that''s who he is, but then there''s a part of me screaming why did the kids need to know. I wouldn''t dream of sitting mine down and telling them that I have a boyfriend. They have just been slowly introduced.

In our school we have a rather annoying tree hugger, who is apparently the Absolute perfect parent (ggrr) as annoying as I think she is she has been a god send for my kids. They have a ''worry box'' where the kids write a little note and post it to her. Then they get called in for a chat. She relays back to the parents on the quiet so the kids don''t think she is breaking their trust. Does your school provide anything like that?
I went through a long long patch where I really couldn''t say anything nice about the ex so this lady was really useful for the kids.

big hugs to you though. Did he discuss with you first or did you find out from the kids?


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