MY SON WONT SEE ME

hi all...i have just joined the forum, glad to be a member, i really am glad just for any support these days. i left my wife in january this year, she has restricted access to both of my children, i have a contact order hearing next week and hopefully will be able to get somewhere with formalising and increasing access with my 7 year old daughter. 2 months after leaving my wife i met someone else, since then my son who is 12 wont see me at all, he has been heavily influenced by his mother, poisoned i would say. i was given an ultimatum by my ex and my son that if i didnt leave my partner, my son will never see me again.....i have done what they asked and left my partner, i have devastated her and broke my own in heart in the process but my children are my world and i will do anything to put things right with my son.....not even sure why i am writing this...suppose i just dont know what else to do to try and say to my son that i am his dad, always been his dad, and please just let me be your dad.

S

i agree.....i have left my partner to try and show my son that very lesson, if i can get to him i want to say that although i am not with his mam any more i am still his dad and love him with all my heart, i will always be there for him, i hate my ex wife for putting him in this position, but i also take full responsibility for what my children are going through because i did leave their mother, she has reinforced to my children that i walked out on them, but i didnt, i just couldnt be with their mother anymore....this is pain beyond painful but i will not give up on them...ever, but 6 months down the line, i am running out of energy and money due to legal fees, i am hoping the court hearing next week does make some headway with my daughter because i have no more money to pursue any more legal processes

S

lol...you sound like me.....have done just that, when i give my daughter pocket money, i make sure my son has exactly the same, i put it in an envelope for her to give to him, my daughter and i have a great time when we are together, we really enjoy, i agree about the court process, but i really had no choice but to pursue this route, my ex wife restricted my access to 3 hours per week and every other weekend, this was nowhere near enough for my daughter and i to spend time with each other and enjoy the brilliant relationship we have always had....its a shame that it all has to end up like this

D

Your wife probably isn''t entirely at fault. Children of 12 years of age are at a developmental stage when they are capable of making their own rigid moral judgements. In their eyes the parent who leaves and/or a new partner who was involved in the breakup or shortly afterwards are often deemed responsible for the breakup of their family.

Things you can try are mediation, family counselling or parenting information programmes which encourage parents to put the needs of the children first.