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Should I do anything about this now?

  • AnnoyedMummy
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13 Jul 12 #342975 by AnnoyedMummy
Topic started by AnnoyedMummy
It will have been 7 months tomorrow since the last time my ex saw his daughter. He hasn''t contacted me in ages, and the last time I tried to contact him, he called the police and reported me for harrasment, so I can no longer contact him at all anymore.

My daughter is nearing 4 now and she is aware of the fact he doesn''t see her anymore. She will occasionally ask if she can see him, and when I say I can''t contact him (I tell her I haven''t got his number) she always says "He doesn''t want to see me". We always reassure her that he does, but maybe he''s busy/ill/working, but she isn''t buying it anymore.

I was thinking of trying to get a court order, preventing contact now. I still don''t know if its a good idea or not, but I don''t want him suddenly turning up after not seeing her for 7 months, and suddenly decide he wants to see her. It''s not benefitting my daughter, as the contact is so sparodic.

If he could assure me that he would start contact again, and see her every fortnight or month, and turn up EVERYTIME, then I would be happy to reinstate contact, as ulimatly, that would be the best thing for her, but I just don''t think he will commit to it!

He saw her 15 times in 2009 (out of 33 chances) 17 times in 2010 (out of 25) and 6 times in 2011 (out of 12).

I won''t contact him again asking if he would like to see her, as I know he would call the police again, and I don''t particularly want to be arrested trying to arrange for him to have contact!

Would a court stop contact if I applied, or would it just be a waste of time and money?

  • Fiona
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13 Jul 12 #342986 by Fiona
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Let sleeping dogs lie. There is nothing to be achieved by applying to stop contact. There are no defined times and contact is be organised through you if I remember correctly. If your ex contacts you in the future there is little harm in taking your daughter to meet him for an ice cream. It''s rather like an uncle who appears from time to time. When contact has broken down for some time the courts generally support attempts to re-establish it anyway.

  • stepper
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13 Jul 12 #343009 by stepper
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I entirely agree with Fiona. I find it incredible however, that your ex. doesn''t make the effort to see your daughter. Many dads who post here would give anything for regular contact with their children.

I think you should take the moral high ground and continue to do your best to facilitate contact. If you are not successful at least you can tell your daughter that you did everything you could to keep up contact with her dad.

  • AnnoyedMummy
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13 Jul 12 #343016 by AnnoyedMummy
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I wont contact him, as last time I did he reported me to the police for harrasment! I sent a total of 3/4 messages, all about our daughter! I got an official warning not to contact him again. I don''t want to be arrested when he cant be bothered to see her.

  • wmorris2
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13 Jul 12 #343042 by wmorris2
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stepper wrote:

I entirely agree with Fiona. I find it incredible however, that your ex. doesn''t make the effort to see your daughter. Many dads who post here would give anything for regular contact with their children.


Anything and everything in my case.. Anything AND everything!

  • Rumplestiltsk1n
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13 Jul 12 #343048 by Rumplestiltsk1n
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men like that make my blood boil and gives the good dads like me a bad name as we all seem to get tarred with the same brush. i would crawl over broken glass and then hot coals to see my children for one extra minute!!

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