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EX Partner''s SOl asked to adjourn hearing?

  • ffc1991
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16 Jul 12 #343442 by ffc1991
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Received a letter today stating that my EX partner Sol has requested that the court hearing on the 14th of Aug is adjourned to allow mediation to take place.

I''m of course really not happy with this especially as what my EX agreed at the 1st session has already not happened and gone back on.

However will I be seen as being unreasonable by saying no to this?

The 2nd mediation session will take place before the court date also. So it would have of had chance to sort out at mediation before the hearing.

  • halfadad
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16 Jul 12 #343450 by halfadad
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Hi ffc,

Oh she plays a good game doesnt she your ex! I wonder if she read the same book as my ex.

This is a tricky one really.

On one hand, the court would by far prefer you to mediate and come to an arrangement by youself, so you could be perceived as unreasonable to refuse to adjourn court to mediate.

On the other hand, you already requested a delayed court date to allow for mediation. You have had one mediation session where your ex has not managed to do anything she said she would do, and you have another (if im correct) at the beginning of Aug which will be your second. You will have seen your daughther only a handful of times prior to court for a very limited period of time each go.

I assume your court date is only for a Directions hearing i.e. 15mins or so? Personally I would contact your local court and ask if it was cancelled when they would be adjourning to. Its not unreasonable to expect progress with contact after 3 mediation sessions (in fact if you read mediation guidelines it says contact disputes are usually settled in 2 - 4 sessions).

You are then faced with a couple of options
1. If the court can set a date in a months time (for example) I would agree (again assuming that your contact centre is booked for enough weeks to cover up to that period so that you do not end up with no contact. You then go into court knowing you have had a reasonable number of mediation sessions, and hopefully can show your ex is all talk and no action, so the court have no choice but to make orders.

2. You refuse to adjourn, you say that due to the lack of trust between yourself and your ex, and the "foundless reservations" your ex has against your parenting, you really need this to progress via court.
Either you want any agreement made in the second mediation meeting to be ratified into a court order, or failing an agreement at the second mediation hearing, you want the court to order contact (most likely at the contact centre which has already been arranged).

  • jslgb
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16 Jul 12 #343455 by jslgb
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I agree with point 2 above.

If your second mediation appointment is due before the court hearing then why adjourn the hearing for mediation? After your first mediation session that was less than successful i would push ahead with the court hearing. As halfadad said the court may just direct what is already happening but it will have begun the process and you''ll be one step forward and theres nothing to say you cant attend mediation after the hearing to agree more contact etc.

  • ffc1991
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16 Jul 12 #343457 by ffc1991
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I''m really leaning towards option 2 if i''m being honest with you. iv''e bent over backwards to do what my partner wished to make things easier and she''s still playing games. Ive transferred Uni''s, going to be following her to where she now lives etc.

Yes the hearing on the 14th is the very first hearing that we will had of attended.

Iv''e made it my intention adn informed my EX''s sol that I will be asking for an Interim order. I know this is unlikely.

At the end of the day the only proposals my EX was willing to make at the 1st session was to stick at the contact center and arrange extra contact as and when she could. She said she would email regardless of the outcome and she hasn''t done so. It''s just more false promises. All my EX is going to be willing is supervised at the contact centre so have i really got anything to lose?

I could be seen as unreasonable but then I can just prove how much I have done and given up to try sort things surely?

Thanks once again

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16 Jul 12 #343458 by ffc1991
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I''ve just spoke to the mediators, and they can fit me in sooner if my EX agrees to it. So that would mean we would of had 3 sessions before the court date. Surely this would be the best way to try and go about it?

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16 Jul 12 #343459 by halfadad
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Id go with 2 then. The worst that can happen is the judge will adjourn the hearing anyway.

Is the letter from the solicitor a letter to you asking you to agree to the adjournment, or is it a letter telling you they are writing to court to request an adjournment?

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16 Jul 12 #343460 by jslgb
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One option is to inform her solicitors that you wont agree to anything until some of the arrangements discussed in the previous mediation happen and you have attended a second mediation appointment to see how things progress. Do you have to give the court a certain amount of notice to adjourn a hearing? Is there a degree of time between the mediation app and the hearing? Mediation is all very well in theory but things are often not acted upon and as it isnt a legal agreement it isnt enforceable so your ex partner can say anything in mediation but doesnt have to stick to it!

If you can get her to act on her suggestion of extra contact outside the centre then contact will progress and you could use this as a bargaining tool.

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