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16 Jul 12 #343558 by peterafried
Topic started by peterafried
ARGH, back on after trying my hardest to play nice.

I have 2 Boys 4 & 5 years

Current Contact arrangements, I have them every other weekend and Tuesdays. Not legally binding painfully worked out between us. I have my very own shift pattern at work to accommodate this that has restricted my ability in lateral moves and promotion otherwise it''d be inconsistent and rare that I could see them.

Sisters getting married, got a stag do coming up. It lands on my weekend. :unsure:

Mum and Sister step in to take them out for the weekend B)lots of fun planned

Ex finds out and has put her foot down. Not allowed. She spewed out some BS about consistent contact with me only.

Is there any case law about on my contact days I can decide who looks after them? Looks like I''ll be booking a court room :(

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16 Jul 12 #343576 by sexysadie
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It is up to you what happens to the children on your contact days - and being looked after occasionally by family is no bad thing anyway. But without a contact order she can more or less do what she likes. Could you offer to swap weekends with her?

Best wishes,
Sadie

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16 Jul 12 #343584 by jumpingthroughhoops
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Not allowed.. It is allowed, you have parental responsibility too. Does the mother NEVER leave the children with any of her family?

Unfortunately sadie is right, there isn''t a great deal you can do without an order and that is a significant point. Without an order you''ll always be following orders, rules. That''s something worth considering.

In the meantime explain to her that you have an agreement and you wish to stick to it and the kids can a weekend with there gran and aunty if she refuses then you need to decide if you''re spending the next 10 years following her rules or getting a court order.

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16 Jul 12 #343592 by peterafried
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That hit home a bit.

3 Options then:

1.) She becomes more reasonable
2.) Contact Order
3.) Live by her rules for the next 10 years

Number 3 is a nightmare proposition and is where I am heading at the moment if I don''t do something. Scary :ohmy:

Her family are close and see them more than I do btw :/

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16 Jul 12 #343599 by jumpingthroughhoops
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best bet is try to talk to her and explain that if she cannot stick to an amicable arrangement then you''ll have no option to get an order through the courts.

It might be that she''ll then back down as a court order will take away that hold she she has. If not then start work on your application and statements

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16 Jul 12 #343601 by peterafried
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Yeah I think I just did that by email.

I await response

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16 Jul 12 #343606 by jslgb
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Not being funny but i''d see my a*se too in that situation.

Maybe i''d handle it differently but if my stbxh was going out and leaving my daughter with family members i would rather swap and spend that time with my child and let her see her dad when he is actually around. Especially if stbx was keeping these plans from me.

But then i''m not totally unreasonable that he wouldnt approach me to swap i guess - although he''d probably say different, everything appears differently in his head!!

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