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Advice needed regarding new baby

  • JamesLondon
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21 Jul 12 #344550 by JamesLondon
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Jumping. I have two also who are not mistakes but no way I would do it again. You must know it yourself. There is nothing you can do other than proving your new girlfriend is mentally ill or a drug addict.

You are f*****d well and truly.

  • jumpingthroughhoops
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21 Jul 12 #344552 by jumpingthroughhoops
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James, it''s worth mentioning that you don''t need to prove the mother is mentally ill or drug addict to get equal involvement with your children.
Mother of my two was very difficult and a pain in the ass but never faulted her parenting, she is bringing kids up fine and I still got shared residence.

Statements such as yours are inaccurate and unhelpful, many people view these boards when just starting out on the road to pursuing contact and comments like that are both misleading and off-putting

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21 Jul 12 #344557 by JamesLondon
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Jumping you do not think that you had a degree of good luck the first time around? To achieve shared parenting you need an ex who is willing to communicate. Not everyone gets that lucky.

Good luck 2nd time around. :)

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21 Jul 12 #344585 by DrDaddy
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Jumping,
I don''t know your situation with your gf, of course... but unless you are already on the point of separating, I would imagine that your reaction would have been devastating for her.
Whatever your previous experiences, you need to move on from this way of thinking or you will find that your future life is negatively affected. Seriously, I would consider taking some counselling to help you come to terms with what has happened to you in your fight for your children.

  • hawaythelads
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22 Jul 12 #344593 by hawaythelads
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You really have just got to "shut the feck up" about it.
Jesus wept man she''ll bin you before she''s dropped it with convos like that ;)
See I knew I was sensitive and in tact with my feminine side.
You can only cross that bridge if it comes to it.
All the best
HRH xx

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22 Jul 12 #344607 by Justaparent
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I suppose, don''t be the one who works all the hours and your GF is the SAHP.

Be a hands-on parent, do everything 50-50, do the night-feeds, nappy changes etc

and then if you do separate the status-quo will be equal care, rather than there being a main-carer.

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22 Jul 12 #344617 by hawaythelads
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That''s a great idea....after she''s popped the kid.
She gets back to work you stay at home go to a few mother and baby groups bit of funkey monkey club.Bit of going to the park.Few temper tantrums to deal with and washing a few babygrows in a washing machine.Change a few nappies.
Bit further on put the kid in the nursery 5 mornings a week and get myself down the gym get nice and buff.
Copule of years after that put the kid in that other free babysitting service school excellent that''s 9am until 3pm I''ve got to myself.
Of course every time she gets home from work I''ll push the kids in her Directions and let her do all the baths and childcare because I''ve had such a hard day.Of course do all the housework of a weekend and give her the list of jobs to do.
Then by secondary school they''re virtually taking themselves to school.
But when I do start my lttle part time job If I do have an affair I''ll keep 70% of the house equity and the kid anyway because I''ve been stay at home Dad who sacrificed my career to support her career while I stayed at home and raised her child.
All topped up with about £600 a month tax credits and child maintenance plus my 20 hrs a week wages and the new woman paying for me as well.With every other weekend off to myself.
Whoop Whoop sounds like a plan ;)
All the best
HRH xx

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